This article is the beginning of my television reviewing career. After much deliberating over whether I am going to write this article - lots of info crammed into one episode - my desire to write it has won over.
I have rarely been disappointed with an episode of Bones which airs on Tuesdays on Fox and Global. The fall finale was no exception. Aside from ending the season a little early (writers' strike?), the Christmas themed final show had all the usual witty banter, interesting plot and funny flirtations we've come to expect and love. The Booth Bones kiss arrives albeit disguised as blackmail; and Bones finally gets to spend Christmas with her father and brother however crisis provoking.
The episode opens with a dead santa found by department store elves and the rest of the show has the Jeffersonian team trying to solve the crime of who killed Santa and speculating whether the dead body is the real Santa, because in true Bones spirit, all the evidence leads the squints to believe that he might be the real Santa: Jack finds touches of clay residue (Santa smokes a clay pipe), Cam discovers his legal name to be Christopher Kringle.
Bones and Booth discuss the Santa myth in both anthropological and sentimental ways while following their leads which lead them first to a toy store which has Booth very excited and squealing with delight; the scene is very festive and counterbalances their cynicism which has cut into Booth's usual belief in Christmas (Rebecca, his ex-wife, has Parker for the holiday), and
Bones's father and brother are in jail - she usually goes somewhere with lots of new skeletons, this year it's supposed to be Peru to examine a new pyramid.
Meanwhile, Tempe's dad wants them all to spend Christmas together which provokes a bit of a crisis for Bones and a challenge. But a solution is found: ask Caroline if she can arrange a conjugal visit trailor for them. She will on one condition: Bones and Booth have to kiss under the mistletoe. Why? Bones asks. Because it will amuse me, Caroline replies. Because I am feeling puckish, she continues. It was amusing. We've been waiting for this kiss and the writers came up with a way to make them kiss without killing the romantic suspence just yet - we still have questions whether these two are going to get together - although it is clear they care for each other. Naturally, they act awkward after the smooch - all, I've got this to do, I've got that to do.
The evidence leads them to a Santa temp agency where they must dust the Santas' bells and sniff their butts which leads Booth to declare that it is officially the worst Christmas ever. A bad Santa is apprehended and is surrounded by a gang of jolly men ominously singing Santa Claus is Coming To Town.
Parker finds his way to the FBI and Booth gets to spend Christmas with him and Bones spends it with her family in the trailor. Parker and Booth light up a tree for her outside the trailor.
It ends with them smiling at each other.
Tis the season!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
aromatwitch
I didn't sleep very well after my vandal sandal episode. I woke several times with inexplicable twitching. My thumb seem to take the brunt of it.
I descended to find a group of people in our living room. We never had people, unless it was family over the holidays.
"Who are these people," I asked my mother in the kitchen while she was preparing coffee.
"They're neighbors and were meeting to discuss the rat problem."
" Are we expecting Joe Pesci?" I always expected I might find myself in a kind of sting situation. In fact, my eyes were stinging and burning all night.
"Whose Joe Pesci?"
"Never mind"
"We're organizing a petition to bring to the mayor about the rats at the corner bus stop," she said.
"What happened to my mother? Bring her back," I said.
"Can you vacuum when we leave; we're off canvassing after our meeting," she said stoked.
An hour later they left. I pulled out the vacuum. The crutchess was on her way over. After about a minute of vacuuming, it was like shop and awe all over again. Paranoia led me to layer myself: first with a scarf, then a winter hat, then a ski mask, and finally gloves. I continued vacuuming.
The doorbell rang. It was the Crutchess.
"Were they out of burqas at the mall? she asked.
I pulled off the mask.
"What's with the marks on your face; you look like a linebacker," she added.
I hadn't noticed them. But then I took a look in the mirror.
I could be playing for the Grey Cup.
I told the Crutchess all about shop and awe.
I descended to find a group of people in our living room. We never had people, unless it was family over the holidays.
"Who are these people," I asked my mother in the kitchen while she was preparing coffee.
"They're neighbors and were meeting to discuss the rat problem."
" Are we expecting Joe Pesci?" I always expected I might find myself in a kind of sting situation. In fact, my eyes were stinging and burning all night.
"Whose Joe Pesci?"
"Never mind"
"We're organizing a petition to bring to the mayor about the rats at the corner bus stop," she said.
"What happened to my mother? Bring her back," I said.
"Can you vacuum when we leave; we're off canvassing after our meeting," she said stoked.
An hour later they left. I pulled out the vacuum. The crutchess was on her way over. After about a minute of vacuuming, it was like shop and awe all over again. Paranoia led me to layer myself: first with a scarf, then a winter hat, then a ski mask, and finally gloves. I continued vacuuming.
The doorbell rang. It was the Crutchess.
"Were they out of burqas at the mall? she asked.
I pulled off the mask.
"What's with the marks on your face; you look like a linebacker," she added.
I hadn't noticed them. But then I took a look in the mirror.
I could be playing for the Grey Cup.
I told the Crutchess all about shop and awe.
It triggers me
These are the things that trigger me. PMS. That is a monthly trigger manifesting itself in human carnage. I once threw a phone - well almost threw a phone. I only hope there is no one around with a taser when I get triggered. Menopause also triggers me - well hearing about it triggers me. Find another topic. American thanksgiving triggers me - not for the reasons you might assume - it triggers me because I should be celebrating it. We have our own, in October, but it doesn't really count. It's my holiday too Americans! Don't you forget that! Computers that freeze trigger me, especially when you're on a roll and getting ready to publish something! Line ups trigger me. People who ask questions during movies or TV trigger me. That triggers a lot of people (like Woody Allen); but not my mother, since she is usually the one asking the questions... and on and on...it triggers me.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Do the tight thing
Letter to management:
Why are there only white people on your bag? A brown person invented the garment you are selling. Why are there only white women modelling your tights in your brochure? Haven't you seen Do The Right Thing? Don't you watch CNN?
Do the tight thing! Do the tight thing!
100% Pinkgrapefruit
Why are there only white people on your bag? A brown person invented the garment you are selling. Why are there only white women modelling your tights in your brochure? Haven't you seen Do The Right Thing? Don't you watch CNN?
Do the tight thing! Do the tight thing!
100% Pinkgrapefruit
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sandalism - Part deux
The sales clerk, whose name was Eloise, wanted me to write for her in exchange for shoes. Her boss had asked her to write up a new shipment for the web and she told her she could; if she didn't her boss would find someone else for the job. And she really needed this job seeing as she was new in town and didn't have too many options. She failed to mention to her boss that she was dyslexic. I was happy to oblige but i told her I was no Tolstoy.
I wanted my loot so she let me first try on several pair of shoes including a pair of faux hush puppies that i absolutely loved. But they didn't have my size, as usual. I wore a whopping size 11. "Tabarnouche" i said. "I can't squeeze into these tens".
"Is that blood on your toe?" she asked.
"Darn, what a gaffe. " I was prone to blisters and using French words these days.
She ignored it and looked away. Great i thought, i kept trying on shoes and sandals.
When i was done she took me to the back room and showed me a stack, handed me a laptop and then left the room. I started opening the boxes, but evertime i opened one, a not so pleasant odour emanated. The odour kept getting stronger. I opened more of them to see if they were all like that. Indeed, further into the stack, fireworks were lighting up the room. My eyes could only see red and green for a few seconds after about the ninth pair. This was probably why she was dyslexic.
I went out to grab Eloise. She was chatting with someone.
"Have you opened any of those boxes, it's like shop and awe back there" i said.
She looked at me inquisitively.
I looked down at her hand, she was holding a cocktail. "Is that a cosmopolitan?" I asked.
"Yes, tabarnouche", she said and burped.
" I can't finish the job," I said.
"You have to if you want the shoes".
"I don't want them", i lied.
"You have to pay for them because they have blood on them", she said.
Damn blisters. I really should carry band-aids with me. I went back and finished the job.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
I wanted my loot so she let me first try on several pair of shoes including a pair of faux hush puppies that i absolutely loved. But they didn't have my size, as usual. I wore a whopping size 11. "Tabarnouche" i said. "I can't squeeze into these tens".
"Is that blood on your toe?" she asked.
"Darn, what a gaffe. " I was prone to blisters and using French words these days.
She ignored it and looked away. Great i thought, i kept trying on shoes and sandals.
When i was done she took me to the back room and showed me a stack, handed me a laptop and then left the room. I started opening the boxes, but evertime i opened one, a not so pleasant odour emanated. The odour kept getting stronger. I opened more of them to see if they were all like that. Indeed, further into the stack, fireworks were lighting up the room. My eyes could only see red and green for a few seconds after about the ninth pair. This was probably why she was dyslexic.
I went out to grab Eloise. She was chatting with someone.
"Have you opened any of those boxes, it's like shop and awe back there" i said.
She looked at me inquisitively.
I looked down at her hand, she was holding a cocktail. "Is that a cosmopolitan?" I asked.
"Yes, tabarnouche", she said and burped.
" I can't finish the job," I said.
"You have to if you want the shoes".
"I don't want them", i lied.
"You have to pay for them because they have blood on them", she said.
Damn blisters. I really should carry band-aids with me. I went back and finished the job.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Lemon-aid
Lemon - aid: turning poison into medicine. Trying to benefit off our gaffes.
Being reminded that we have messed up time and time again is never a bowl of cherries. It's more like coming home and finding your mother has set out a dinner mat with a lemon printed on it. Or the friend you've failed handing you a glass of lemonade everytime you go over and visit with her. Or the bartender who knows everything about your gaffes (what bartender doesn't?) and keeps asking if you want your drinks with a twist of lemon or the party you attend only to have one of the guests keep pointing to the lemon pie or the other guest who talks about the lemon of a used car he just bought. It's like living in a scene from Desperate Housewives. Simply replace menopause and deviled eggs with gaffes and lemons and a whole new scene is born.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Being reminded that we have messed up time and time again is never a bowl of cherries. It's more like coming home and finding your mother has set out a dinner mat with a lemon printed on it. Or the friend you've failed handing you a glass of lemonade everytime you go over and visit with her. Or the bartender who knows everything about your gaffes (what bartender doesn't?) and keeps asking if you want your drinks with a twist of lemon or the party you attend only to have one of the guests keep pointing to the lemon pie or the other guest who talks about the lemon of a used car he just bought. It's like living in a scene from Desperate Housewives. Simply replace menopause and deviled eggs with gaffes and lemons and a whole new scene is born.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
The train has left the station
We so often hear the expression the train has left the station. I so often think of the expression the train has left the station as I did this morning trying to catch the train for a job interview. It had indeed left without me on it making me late for the interview. Maybe that would explain why I didn't get the job or i kept hearing the receptionist outside the office where i was being interviewed hiss under her breath " Sid Vicious".
Or, Maybe it was because I kept calling it a company after she told me "it's a cooperative, not a company. "
It might have been because i kept calling her a manager after she told me she was a partner.
Whatever it was, the train had left the station.
Catching the train is not always so easy.
And when you do finally catch it, make sure you're going in the right direction as i did not do when I hopped on the wrong metro. Must get out at next station and get back on the one going in the other direction to make job interview no 2.
My favorite question in a job interview is always 1) How do you deal with stress? and 2) How do you feel working for 10 $ or 8$ an hour or however much they are offering.
No 1) the answer is simple: valium - I never actually say this
no 2) I don't like it much but what can you do? (I never say this either) I usually then start to act out like a 6 year old.
There are things we often don't say to each other's faces. In my case, it is the train has left the station.
Job interview no 3 involved a questionnaire. It needed an overhaul.
I'm still looking for a job.
The train has left the station.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Or, Maybe it was because I kept calling it a company after she told me "it's a cooperative, not a company. "
It might have been because i kept calling her a manager after she told me she was a partner.
Whatever it was, the train had left the station.
Catching the train is not always so easy.
And when you do finally catch it, make sure you're going in the right direction as i did not do when I hopped on the wrong metro. Must get out at next station and get back on the one going in the other direction to make job interview no 2.
My favorite question in a job interview is always 1) How do you deal with stress? and 2) How do you feel working for 10 $ or 8$ an hour or however much they are offering.
No 1) the answer is simple: valium - I never actually say this
no 2) I don't like it much but what can you do? (I never say this either) I usually then start to act out like a 6 year old.
There are things we often don't say to each other's faces. In my case, it is the train has left the station.
Job interview no 3 involved a questionnaire. It needed an overhaul.
I'm still looking for a job.
The train has left the station.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Mess up your life- it's easy with my plan
You can screw up your life real good if you follow my steps outlined in my new book: You can't screw up screwing up your life! well maybe you could, but you' d really have to be cursed!
Just follow my 12 steps that I personally developed out of the great success of messing up my life. It's really my greatest accomplishment and I wanted to share it with you dear reader so you too could mess up your life. It's the one thing you won't mess up!
If I get rich, it was worth it! If I don't - it wasn't!
Pinkgrapefruit
100 % funscientious!
Just follow my 12 steps that I personally developed out of the great success of messing up my life. It's really my greatest accomplishment and I wanted to share it with you dear reader so you too could mess up your life. It's the one thing you won't mess up!
If I get rich, it was worth it! If I don't - it wasn't!
Pinkgrapefruit
100 % funscientious!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The Crutchess
"I think a global swarming for the doctor who diagnosed the cause of indigestion as global warming should be organized," the Crutchess said.
The Crutchess was sitting at a table sipping a frappucino showcasing her latest injury.
“What is it this time?” I asked ignoring her plan for revenge.
The Crutchess had a nasty little habit of injuring her body parts. She was very athletic, always involved in one sport or another - last summer, it was surfing - however this was usually not how she hurt herself.
"Sprained ankle changing a lightbulb - I fell off a stool". Over the summer, she was hit in the head with a rogue surf board in the parking lot as someone was loading their car. Before that - well the list of injuries was too long to enumerate. Suffice to say, an editor had approached her wanting to publish "her story". Nobody survives that many accidents and lives to tell about it - it had to get documented as the editor kept insisting. She even knew of a producer who might want to option it. It was the editor who kept calling her the crutchess because of her love of Fergie and her love of crutches. The name has stuck.
" I think you might want to find another doctor," the crutchess said.
In walked Omar - my nemesis / potential love interest.
"Well, hello" he said with his usual sly way. " I heard the sarongs you wrote about in your last piece were banned in 3 provinces and 4 states because they used child and sweatshop labor," he looked happy as he said this.
When I first met Omar, I thought the person who introduced us said he was Homar. I thought this was French for lobster as it was a costume party - it was Halloween . However I was confused because he was dressed like a pirate and I kept saying a little confused you're a Homar? He said yes and I thought maybe because he was a pirate and pirates probably eat lobsters, this went on for a while until he picked up on the h and said there's no H, it's just omar, and i thought a lobster without an h? and then I got it. His name was Omar.
Omar was always one step ahead of me. This is why there was conflict. He was also incredibly handsome - this is why he was a potential love interest.
"Hi Omar," said the Crutchess.
"Hello", he replied and then noticed her leg. "What happened to your leg?"
"Oh, you'll love this story. I sprained my ankle trying to go green. I was switching from incandescent to fluorescent when bam! I fell off the stool! "
I shot the Crutchess a dirty look.
"It's important to go green!" I said to him horrified he' d think we were anti-environment. He already thought I was pro-sweatshop. The crutchess often boosted my self-esteem by pointing out that I was simply a lazy writer who didn't do enough research.
"Yes well, I'm sure you're idea of going green involves a muppet" he riposted.
Snappy comeback I thought. I secretely loved him. The crutchess didn't know.
"Speaking of going green," he turned to me, " I heard you went all incredible hulk on a friend of mine," He said. "The hulk's anger was the driving force behind his hero complex, what does your anger do besides make you look a little silly?"
Harsh I thought. But he was right. Yelling at the guy at Big Bonus was a little juvenile. And considering the political climate, a lot insensitive. I could see our romance was not going to blossom today. Was he still mad because I thought his name was Homar? It was an honest mistake for someone culturally challenged as I, at times, appeared to be. As for the sarongs, well, I knew I had to work harder - especially if I wanted to win him over (and get him into bed).
His question was rhetorical and with that he walked off and bid his adieu with an "aufwiedersein". That's goodbye in German.
The Crutchess was sitting at a table sipping a frappucino showcasing her latest injury.
“What is it this time?” I asked ignoring her plan for revenge.
The Crutchess had a nasty little habit of injuring her body parts. She was very athletic, always involved in one sport or another - last summer, it was surfing - however this was usually not how she hurt herself.
"Sprained ankle changing a lightbulb - I fell off a stool". Over the summer, she was hit in the head with a rogue surf board in the parking lot as someone was loading their car. Before that - well the list of injuries was too long to enumerate. Suffice to say, an editor had approached her wanting to publish "her story". Nobody survives that many accidents and lives to tell about it - it had to get documented as the editor kept insisting. She even knew of a producer who might want to option it. It was the editor who kept calling her the crutchess because of her love of Fergie and her love of crutches. The name has stuck.
" I think you might want to find another doctor," the crutchess said.
In walked Omar - my nemesis / potential love interest.
"Well, hello" he said with his usual sly way. " I heard the sarongs you wrote about in your last piece were banned in 3 provinces and 4 states because they used child and sweatshop labor," he looked happy as he said this.
When I first met Omar, I thought the person who introduced us said he was Homar. I thought this was French for lobster as it was a costume party - it was Halloween . However I was confused because he was dressed like a pirate and I kept saying a little confused you're a Homar? He said yes and I thought maybe because he was a pirate and pirates probably eat lobsters, this went on for a while until he picked up on the h and said there's no H, it's just omar, and i thought a lobster without an h? and then I got it. His name was Omar.
Omar was always one step ahead of me. This is why there was conflict. He was also incredibly handsome - this is why he was a potential love interest.
"Hi Omar," said the Crutchess.
"Hello", he replied and then noticed her leg. "What happened to your leg?"
"Oh, you'll love this story. I sprained my ankle trying to go green. I was switching from incandescent to fluorescent when bam! I fell off the stool! "
I shot the Crutchess a dirty look.
"It's important to go green!" I said to him horrified he' d think we were anti-environment. He already thought I was pro-sweatshop. The crutchess often boosted my self-esteem by pointing out that I was simply a lazy writer who didn't do enough research.
"Yes well, I'm sure you're idea of going green involves a muppet" he riposted.
Snappy comeback I thought. I secretely loved him. The crutchess didn't know.
"Speaking of going green," he turned to me, " I heard you went all incredible hulk on a friend of mine," He said. "The hulk's anger was the driving force behind his hero complex, what does your anger do besides make you look a little silly?"
Harsh I thought. But he was right. Yelling at the guy at Big Bonus was a little juvenile. And considering the political climate, a lot insensitive. I could see our romance was not going to blossom today. Was he still mad because I thought his name was Homar? It was an honest mistake for someone culturally challenged as I, at times, appeared to be. As for the sarongs, well, I knew I had to work harder - especially if I wanted to win him over (and get him into bed).
His question was rhetorical and with that he walked off and bid his adieu with an "aufwiedersein". That's goodbye in German.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Dr. No
Dr. No : A doctor who insists, despite many complaints, there is nothing wrong with you.
---
Readers of Sandalism: I will eventually finish the story - eventually.
---
I think my just desserts may have given me a bad case of indigestion. I couldn't prove it, but I suspected that this was a possibility. Enemies were piling up faster than my laundry. I was even getting hate mail. After several bouts of nausea and sounds I never thought possible, I felt a trip to the doctor was necessary - it might be more serious than I thought.
I went to a clinic where nobody knew me hoping this would give an edge. A fresh start was what I needed.
A fresh start meant a new obsession with checking expiry dates and possibly installing surveillance technologies in all eating establishments. Maybe it would land me a cover story. Maybe it would land me in jail - who knew?. But for now, it landed me at the clinic.
In the waiting room, I overheard two women talking in a very Can you believe the audacity? tone: " I heard a woman went crazy on the bike path near Lachine and just started screaming at a family", "what was she screaming"? " things like: skank, red canal, stop color coordinating". "Stop color coordinating, what is she talking about?" asked the other. "I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out what red canal means."
I had forgotten about that. Thankfully, I wore a disguise and big sunglasses. I knew my big blonde Marilyn Monroe wig and big black glasses would come in handy.
The doctor called me into her office. I began to explain the problem to her. Nausea, cramps, before I could finish, she interjected and said: "Perfectly normal, there's nothing wrong with you". "But this has been going on for months, I can't urinate properly," I said.
"The older we get, the less we urinate", she said.
"I've never heard of that, I also feel very hot, my body temperature has risen."
"Perfectly normal - it's global warming", she said.
"Global warming?"
"Do I need to recommend a psychiatrist?" She asked rather dryly.
"Um ,no".
I left Dr. No's office before I was to be escorted out. A fresh start was what I was hoping for, not a fresh take on indigestion.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
---
Readers of Sandalism: I will eventually finish the story - eventually.
---
I think my just desserts may have given me a bad case of indigestion. I couldn't prove it, but I suspected that this was a possibility. Enemies were piling up faster than my laundry. I was even getting hate mail. After several bouts of nausea and sounds I never thought possible, I felt a trip to the doctor was necessary - it might be more serious than I thought.
I went to a clinic where nobody knew me hoping this would give an edge. A fresh start was what I needed.
A fresh start meant a new obsession with checking expiry dates and possibly installing surveillance technologies in all eating establishments. Maybe it would land me a cover story. Maybe it would land me in jail - who knew?. But for now, it landed me at the clinic.
In the waiting room, I overheard two women talking in a very Can you believe the audacity? tone: " I heard a woman went crazy on the bike path near Lachine and just started screaming at a family", "what was she screaming"? " things like: skank, red canal, stop color coordinating". "Stop color coordinating, what is she talking about?" asked the other. "I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out what red canal means."
I had forgotten about that. Thankfully, I wore a disguise and big sunglasses. I knew my big blonde Marilyn Monroe wig and big black glasses would come in handy.
The doctor called me into her office. I began to explain the problem to her. Nausea, cramps, before I could finish, she interjected and said: "Perfectly normal, there's nothing wrong with you". "But this has been going on for months, I can't urinate properly," I said.
"The older we get, the less we urinate", she said.
"I've never heard of that, I also feel very hot, my body temperature has risen."
"Perfectly normal - it's global warming", she said.
"Global warming?"
"Do I need to recommend a psychiatrist?" She asked rather dryly.
"Um ,no".
I left Dr. No's office before I was to be escorted out. A fresh start was what I was hoping for, not a fresh take on indigestion.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Monday, September 10, 2007
Sandalism - Shop and Awe
Sandalism : When your favorite pair of shoes get vandalized.
---
I was very proud of myself that I had created a bumper sticker. I had always wanted to create my own bumper sticker. It was like being a part of the sixties, only with better hair cuts. My mother didn't really seem to get what it was about, but she did wonder if there was any money to be made in bumper stickers. Any new project I took on - making one bumper sticker was a project according to my mother - she had to ask: "Do you think you can sell these things?" A few months back I made a Birthday card for a friend and she asked: "Do you think you can sell these things?".
I was barely out of the house when I noticed my bumper sticker had been defiled. Knew And Improved had been scratched out and over it was written New and Improved. I wasn't sure what it meant but I was starting to sense a theme. I would eventually have to get to the bottom of this but for now, I needed to buy myself a new pair of shoes. Well, barter for a new pair of shoes. I wasn't in the habit of spending a lot of money on shoes like the gals in Smutty Girls, but right now I couldn't spend any money. I had to go for cheap not Choo. Bartering seemed like as good an option as any. I brought a few old dresses and an electric guitar. This probably wasn't going to work, so I would probably have to use my Visa card, but a girl could try.
On my way to the shoe store on Downtown street, I noticed several stickers on the bus shelter: Obsessively Annoying. Somebody was out to get me. Why I felt it was directed at me, I could not say. I did have the habit of looking at myself a few too many times in the mirror - a neurosis rather than vanity. Bumper stickers had become my enemy. Something to obsess about. It's not as if I didn't have enough to obsess about. Between obsessing over whether my last column offended somebody, or whether the last thing I blurted out at a dinner party caused somebody to frown (or blush) - like your legs are too long for your body, there was always something to obsess about. Mazel Snog kept me up a night. But being stubborn, I wasn't going to rewrite the Mazel Snog column, even if they were protesting outside my front door. I would live with the shame. "I slept with someone Jewish once, I' m an authority," I would shout, but they never listened. I guess I couldn't blame them for speaking their minds. Okay he never really shouted Mazel Tov during sex, I just really like the expression and needed to make a pun. Again, a compulsion. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.
Anyways, I was just thinking to myself as I got on the bus that writing was liberating except for when you had writer's block. Then writing wasn't so liberating. I was thinking this because I had tried to finish the column I started last week, and was met with writer's block. And this witicism came to me and it made me feel like a writer who had really smart things to say and could make people laugh as opposed to my usual self who was at times monosyllabic. I even went through a short period when all I ever really said was Yup and nope. Antidepressants were involved. I'll provide examples of my character later when I introduce you to new characters and situations. Anyways, I was thinking about how writing could make you feel like you're soaring above ground, in the sky, like a bird, but writer's block made me feel like I was stuck on a slow moving train. Obsessively Annoying had a similar effect on me.
Then again, maybe it wasn't about me at all.
The sales clerk didn't really seem keen on the idea of bartering until she heard me tell the other sales clerk about my blog. "Oh you're a writer?" she inquired. "Yes I am. Not a very good one." She laughed. She thought I was kidding. I wasn't. Maybe there is something you can do for me.
cliffhanger
---
I was very proud of myself that I had created a bumper sticker. I had always wanted to create my own bumper sticker. It was like being a part of the sixties, only with better hair cuts. My mother didn't really seem to get what it was about, but she did wonder if there was any money to be made in bumper stickers. Any new project I took on - making one bumper sticker was a project according to my mother - she had to ask: "Do you think you can sell these things?" A few months back I made a Birthday card for a friend and she asked: "Do you think you can sell these things?".
I was barely out of the house when I noticed my bumper sticker had been defiled. Knew And Improved had been scratched out and over it was written New and Improved. I wasn't sure what it meant but I was starting to sense a theme. I would eventually have to get to the bottom of this but for now, I needed to buy myself a new pair of shoes. Well, barter for a new pair of shoes. I wasn't in the habit of spending a lot of money on shoes like the gals in Smutty Girls, but right now I couldn't spend any money. I had to go for cheap not Choo. Bartering seemed like as good an option as any. I brought a few old dresses and an electric guitar. This probably wasn't going to work, so I would probably have to use my Visa card, but a girl could try.
On my way to the shoe store on Downtown street, I noticed several stickers on the bus shelter: Obsessively Annoying. Somebody was out to get me. Why I felt it was directed at me, I could not say. I did have the habit of looking at myself a few too many times in the mirror - a neurosis rather than vanity. Bumper stickers had become my enemy. Something to obsess about. It's not as if I didn't have enough to obsess about. Between obsessing over whether my last column offended somebody, or whether the last thing I blurted out at a dinner party caused somebody to frown (or blush) - like your legs are too long for your body, there was always something to obsess about. Mazel Snog kept me up a night. But being stubborn, I wasn't going to rewrite the Mazel Snog column, even if they were protesting outside my front door. I would live with the shame. "I slept with someone Jewish once, I' m an authority," I would shout, but they never listened. I guess I couldn't blame them for speaking their minds. Okay he never really shouted Mazel Tov during sex, I just really like the expression and needed to make a pun. Again, a compulsion. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.
Anyways, I was just thinking to myself as I got on the bus that writing was liberating except for when you had writer's block. Then writing wasn't so liberating. I was thinking this because I had tried to finish the column I started last week, and was met with writer's block. And this witicism came to me and it made me feel like a writer who had really smart things to say and could make people laugh as opposed to my usual self who was at times monosyllabic. I even went through a short period when all I ever really said was Yup and nope. Antidepressants were involved. I'll provide examples of my character later when I introduce you to new characters and situations. Anyways, I was thinking about how writing could make you feel like you're soaring above ground, in the sky, like a bird, but writer's block made me feel like I was stuck on a slow moving train. Obsessively Annoying had a similar effect on me.
Then again, maybe it wasn't about me at all.
The sales clerk didn't really seem keen on the idea of bartering until she heard me tell the other sales clerk about my blog. "Oh you're a writer?" she inquired. "Yes I am. Not a very good one." She laughed. She thought I was kidding. I wasn't. Maybe there is something you can do for me.
cliffhanger
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Well Red - The Knew Enlightenment
When your mother starts examining the clothes you're wearing, you know you're in trouble. She's not looking at them for the usual suspects - holes and unwashed stains - she's looking at them for signs they were made in a sweatshop. I think the lefties may have abducted my mother and replaced her with a clone with a conscience. I'm not sure what's going on - but a fight ensued. They may be punishing me for the sarong story. Somebody may have handed her a copy of No Logo. Who knows? They have not come forward with their demands. Needless to say, my mother is not the protesting kind - she has only recently discovered the reusable shopping bag.
It may have something to do with the fact that the anti-cheap brigade - a small group of protestors - believed you should practice what you preach. Like Diana said, my source on my cheap labor story, If you're not wearing clothes made out of your bedspreads or shopping at Canadian Apparel, they don't like you. Indeed, making clothes out of sheets had become a bit of a trend. That could explain a lot of things, I thought. I had never really stopped to check whether my clothes were clean, as they called sweatshop free, as there were too many sales. But after a lot of "Did you know?" , as in these women work 15 hour days, these women make in a month, what you make in a day, did you know a river was polluted to make this dress, etc., the guilt does start to creep in. I won't ever walk into Canadian Apparel and ask if they ever have any sales, like I did last Boxing Day.
It could also explain the rise in marxist-leninist customer service representatives who are not exactly thrilled when you ask them if there are any sales. Or bumper stickers with the words Well Red.
I caught a glimpse of such a bumper sticker jogging down the street the other day. I thought I was back in California - the capital of bumper stickers. Well Red. I could only view this as an affront. They must have read my Red Rage column and decided to retaliate. It's a play on words: well read. As in, liberal arts educated people are well read. So and so is well read - it is intended as a compliment. I once admired somone for being well read. Well red, I assumed meant being informed about social justice. Project Red came to mind. The movie Reds. Suddenly the image of Bono and Warren Beatty being mad at me caused me great anxiety and I thought hard to come up with my own bumper sticker.
"Knew and improved" was what I came up. I'm sticking it on my mailbox. I doubt, however, I will ever wear my bedspreads any time soon.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious. or
30 % conscientious, 70 % fun
It may have something to do with the fact that the anti-cheap brigade - a small group of protestors - believed you should practice what you preach. Like Diana said, my source on my cheap labor story, If you're not wearing clothes made out of your bedspreads or shopping at Canadian Apparel, they don't like you. Indeed, making clothes out of sheets had become a bit of a trend. That could explain a lot of things, I thought. I had never really stopped to check whether my clothes were clean, as they called sweatshop free, as there were too many sales. But after a lot of "Did you know?" , as in these women work 15 hour days, these women make in a month, what you make in a day, did you know a river was polluted to make this dress, etc., the guilt does start to creep in. I won't ever walk into Canadian Apparel and ask if they ever have any sales, like I did last Boxing Day.
It could also explain the rise in marxist-leninist customer service representatives who are not exactly thrilled when you ask them if there are any sales. Or bumper stickers with the words Well Red.
I caught a glimpse of such a bumper sticker jogging down the street the other day. I thought I was back in California - the capital of bumper stickers. Well Red. I could only view this as an affront. They must have read my Red Rage column and decided to retaliate. It's a play on words: well read. As in, liberal arts educated people are well read. So and so is well read - it is intended as a compliment. I once admired somone for being well read. Well red, I assumed meant being informed about social justice. Project Red came to mind. The movie Reds. Suddenly the image of Bono and Warren Beatty being mad at me caused me great anxiety and I thought hard to come up with my own bumper sticker.
"Knew and improved" was what I came up. I'm sticking it on my mailbox. I doubt, however, I will ever wear my bedspreads any time soon.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious. or
30 % conscientious, 70 % fun
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Banada - In this we worship the ban
Banada: A period in Canadian history where everything is banned. This is a dark period where moderate bans which contribute to progress are taken over by zealots banning everything from oxygen to rollerblading. Blame Canada turns into Ban Canada. Canada is eventually banished.
------
A vignette -
I had barely gotten over my Just Desserts fiasco, when I got a call from a source who informed me of a protest taking place at The Square. The Square was where all the demos usually took place. The first time I had heard about demos in The Square, my friend invited me to a flower demo, I thought she meant they would be demonstrating their flower arranging skills, but rather they were protesting flowers. I could never smell a rose the same way after that demo.
The Square was packed. All wearing thongs. Men and women. A woman with a bullhorn chanted "Keep your thongs off our bodies". What are they protesting this time? I asked my source. Cheap labor was her reply. A lone woman in the corner carried a sign that read: Road side thongs, not road side bombs", "Diana sees every demo as an opportunity for a peace rally" was my source's reply when she saw I looked confused.
I felt like rushing to a pun. "We're not surrounded by throngs of demonstrators, we're surrounded by thongs of demonstrators," I couldn't help myself. This is what 6 years of watching Smutty Girls had done to me. My source defying stereotype, quipped "Punny, very punny, get it?" I did. Suddenly I felt threatened. My source could pun. The pun is mightier than the sword. But why feel threatened, we were on the same side, weren't we?
Suddenly, I heard a voice. "Aren't you the writer who wrote about sarongs made in Thailand for Girly spot magazine ? "Again, how did a stranger know this about me?"
"It was a good project" I shot back in a futile manner.
"Have you even been to Thailand?" He asked.
"No." The truth was I didn't even know where Thailand was and I had never even met the woman for whom I wrote the story but I had to defend myself or it was quickly going to turn into sarongs of demonstrators.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
------
A vignette -
I had barely gotten over my Just Desserts fiasco, when I got a call from a source who informed me of a protest taking place at The Square. The Square was where all the demos usually took place. The first time I had heard about demos in The Square, my friend invited me to a flower demo, I thought she meant they would be demonstrating their flower arranging skills, but rather they were protesting flowers. I could never smell a rose the same way after that demo.
The Square was packed. All wearing thongs. Men and women. A woman with a bullhorn chanted "Keep your thongs off our bodies". What are they protesting this time? I asked my source. Cheap labor was her reply. A lone woman in the corner carried a sign that read: Road side thongs, not road side bombs", "Diana sees every demo as an opportunity for a peace rally" was my source's reply when she saw I looked confused.
I felt like rushing to a pun. "We're not surrounded by throngs of demonstrators, we're surrounded by thongs of demonstrators," I couldn't help myself. This is what 6 years of watching Smutty Girls had done to me. My source defying stereotype, quipped "Punny, very punny, get it?" I did. Suddenly I felt threatened. My source could pun. The pun is mightier than the sword. But why feel threatened, we were on the same side, weren't we?
Suddenly, I heard a voice. "Aren't you the writer who wrote about sarongs made in Thailand for Girly spot magazine ? "Again, how did a stranger know this about me?"
"It was a good project" I shot back in a futile manner.
"Have you even been to Thailand?" He asked.
"No." The truth was I didn't even know where Thailand was and I had never even met the woman for whom I wrote the story but I had to defend myself or it was quickly going to turn into sarongs of demonstrators.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Just desserts - When equity gets nasty
Just Desserts :
The punishment inflicted on those promoting social responsibility ( and more specifically, socially responsible baking ) yet behaving irresponsibly in their own lives ; thus igniting the fury of those - socially responsible or not - around her.
---
When Equity Gets Nasty - a Love Story
The influence of social responsibility gaining momentum in our culture, I decided to venture out and put my pseudo - journalistic skills to good use. I say Pseudo, because it took a year and a half after graduating J-school to discover that CAR skills are not in fact the skills you need to drive a car. (Yes, I actually wrote that in a cover letter). CAR is Computer assisted reporting for those not in the know.
I reported my new story idea to my mother. "Shouldn't you be looking for a job?" she inquired incredulously. Well yes, that was what I was supposed to be doing. But, that's not any fun.
"You might want to try dusting your room once in a while", was another off the cuff remark.
Dusting could wait. Justice could not. Or so I thought. That's proved to be a fatal mistake. I've discovered people are generally irritated by those who sniffle a lot.
Hence the nickname: Dusty
Never put your chores on hold even when the clarion call to a better society sounds its horn louder than a fog horn.
Oh, I dust - just a little hyperbolic anecdote for narrative purposes.
I wanted to write about bakers who use fair trade products - why? Because I'm an obsessive. Once I start on a tangent, I must pursue it to its logical conclusion. Because I enjoy baked goods. Because nobody likes the idea of slave labour - especially when you're eating chocolate.
I entered the bakery Just Cake, notebook and pen in hand eager to learn. I was greeted by a server and explained my story idea: "Aren't you the one who took our tax money to go on vacation?"he asked a little irritated.
"Well, it wasn't really a vacation..." I said wondering how he could possibly have obtained that information. He pulled out a bunch of photos. "Isn't this you lying on a beach in a bikini?" How did he get those photos? "What are you, stalkerazzi?" "No, Taxerazzi". "I'm here to talk about just desserts - get it - just desserts". "It's a fun little pun". I said.
"Yeah, I've read your column ; you're obsessed with puns." said one server.
"Oh, I get it, and you'll be getting your just desserts", said another in a tone that wasn't all that reassuring.
In the end, Just Cake wasn't really very just - and it wasn't really cake. I'm not sure what I ate.
One thing I've learnt about social responsibility is that being socially responsible means never take money that doesn't belong to you. Never yell at your parents. Never yell at strangers. Never yell at shopkeepers - even when they've pissed you off. Get a job. Pay your taxes.
Then, we can truly enjoy our just desserts.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
The punishment inflicted on those promoting social responsibility ( and more specifically, socially responsible baking ) yet behaving irresponsibly in their own lives ; thus igniting the fury of those - socially responsible or not - around her.
---
When Equity Gets Nasty - a Love Story
The influence of social responsibility gaining momentum in our culture, I decided to venture out and put my pseudo - journalistic skills to good use. I say Pseudo, because it took a year and a half after graduating J-school to discover that CAR skills are not in fact the skills you need to drive a car. (Yes, I actually wrote that in a cover letter). CAR is Computer assisted reporting for those not in the know.
I reported my new story idea to my mother. "Shouldn't you be looking for a job?" she inquired incredulously. Well yes, that was what I was supposed to be doing. But, that's not any fun.
"You might want to try dusting your room once in a while", was another off the cuff remark.
Dusting could wait. Justice could not. Or so I thought. That's proved to be a fatal mistake. I've discovered people are generally irritated by those who sniffle a lot.
Hence the nickname: Dusty
Never put your chores on hold even when the clarion call to a better society sounds its horn louder than a fog horn.
Oh, I dust - just a little hyperbolic anecdote for narrative purposes.
I wanted to write about bakers who use fair trade products - why? Because I'm an obsessive. Once I start on a tangent, I must pursue it to its logical conclusion. Because I enjoy baked goods. Because nobody likes the idea of slave labour - especially when you're eating chocolate.
I entered the bakery Just Cake, notebook and pen in hand eager to learn. I was greeted by a server and explained my story idea: "Aren't you the one who took our tax money to go on vacation?"he asked a little irritated.
"Well, it wasn't really a vacation..." I said wondering how he could possibly have obtained that information. He pulled out a bunch of photos. "Isn't this you lying on a beach in a bikini?" How did he get those photos? "What are you, stalkerazzi?" "No, Taxerazzi". "I'm here to talk about just desserts - get it - just desserts". "It's a fun little pun". I said.
"Yeah, I've read your column ; you're obsessed with puns." said one server.
"Oh, I get it, and you'll be getting your just desserts", said another in a tone that wasn't all that reassuring.
In the end, Just Cake wasn't really very just - and it wasn't really cake. I'm not sure what I ate.
One thing I've learnt about social responsibility is that being socially responsible means never take money that doesn't belong to you. Never yell at your parents. Never yell at strangers. Never yell at shopkeepers - even when they've pissed you off. Get a job. Pay your taxes.
Then, we can truly enjoy our just desserts.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Foreignurgh - In this we are sitizens
Foreignurgh:
A frustration experienced by those who are annoyed by the labelling of others as foreigners ; prompting sit-ins.
----
Tired of being called a foreigner?
Call 1 800 sit-izen
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
A frustration experienced by those who are annoyed by the labelling of others as foreigners ; prompting sit-ins.
----
Tired of being called a foreigner?
Call 1 800 sit-izen
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Monday, August 13, 2007
Marie-M design : profile
Demi Moore took pregnancy out of the closet when she posed nude and pregnant for Vanity Fair way back when the millenium was merely a reference in a Prince song. It made pregnancy something sexy in pop culture; something to celebrate rather than hide. It said pregnant women everywhere should feel good about themselves (whether you look like Demi or not - that wasn't really the point).
One fashion designer in Montreal has taken maternity clothes out of the closet (the word maternity does not really do her line justice) by creating a line of clothes for expectant mothers that she wanted to be stylish and comfortable. Marie-M Legare (the M is for Martine - but she goes by the name Marie-M) has been designing clothes for moms looking for fashionable, yet wearable pieces in her St-Laurent blvd. (in Mile End) boutique for almost a year now. Having worked many years in the garment industry in Montreal, she learnt a thing or two about the art and the business of it and decided she wanted to design her own line and open her own shop. She felt there was a market for stylish maternity wear and she wanted to create fashion that would make women feel good about themselves - sexy. Her website reads: Restez ravissante et sexy !
I asked what her influences are and she responded by telling me that she follows the latest fashion trends. She uses stretchy fabrics so they can be worn from the first month to the last month of pregnancy and beyond. Her designs follow the curves of the new mom and can be worn even after the fnal push. She works with viscose, denim...
Marie-M suggests starting the pregnancy with two pieces : a low rise jeans and a black tube 3 in 1 that can be worn as a top, dress or skirt and a nursing pack consisting of a two piece nursing pajama in pink or blue and a nursing top in white. She also makes lingerie and sells jewellery by local designers.
Prices range from 69 $ to 250 $.
Marie-M
5344 boul. Saint-Laurent
Montreal, Quebec
(514) 522-3389
Closed Sunday.
http://www.mariemdesign.com/
Pinkgrapefuit
100 % funscientious
One fashion designer in Montreal has taken maternity clothes out of the closet (the word maternity does not really do her line justice) by creating a line of clothes for expectant mothers that she wanted to be stylish and comfortable. Marie-M Legare (the M is for Martine - but she goes by the name Marie-M) has been designing clothes for moms looking for fashionable, yet wearable pieces in her St-Laurent blvd. (in Mile End) boutique for almost a year now. Having worked many years in the garment industry in Montreal, she learnt a thing or two about the art and the business of it and decided she wanted to design her own line and open her own shop. She felt there was a market for stylish maternity wear and she wanted to create fashion that would make women feel good about themselves - sexy. Her website reads: Restez ravissante et sexy !
I asked what her influences are and she responded by telling me that she follows the latest fashion trends. She uses stretchy fabrics so they can be worn from the first month to the last month of pregnancy and beyond. Her designs follow the curves of the new mom and can be worn even after the fnal push. She works with viscose, denim...
Marie-M suggests starting the pregnancy with two pieces : a low rise jeans and a black tube 3 in 1 that can be worn as a top, dress or skirt and a nursing pack consisting of a two piece nursing pajama in pink or blue and a nursing top in white. She also makes lingerie and sells jewellery by local designers.
Prices range from 69 $ to 250 $.
Marie-M
5344 boul. Saint-Laurent
Montreal, Quebec
(514) 522-3389
Closed Sunday.
http://www.mariemdesign.com/
Pinkgrapefuit
100 % funscientious
Mazel Snog : In this we are ethno-coital
Mazel Snog :
Shagging somebody who enjoys using the expression Mazel Tov - especially after sex.
---
Coitus was interruptus by a very loud Mazel Tov, and finished with another exclamation!
To which I replied: Mazel snog!
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Shagging somebody who enjoys using the expression Mazel Tov - especially after sex.
---
Coitus was interruptus by a very loud Mazel Tov, and finished with another exclamation!
To which I replied: Mazel snog!
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Namast-lay : Return of the DIY dictionary
The DIY dictionary was on a bit of a hiatus, but is now back in full force.
Namast-lay : Sleeping with someone who enjoys using the greeting Namaste.
Waking up, post-coitus, to find lover has gone but has left love notes signed at the end with Namaste.
Or: Sleeping with your yoga instructor.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Namast-lay : Sleeping with someone who enjoys using the greeting Namaste.
Waking up, post-coitus, to find lover has gone but has left love notes signed at the end with Namaste.
Or: Sleeping with your yoga instructor.
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Perfide&Vache Morte - Artisanat&Multimedia
On Notre-Dame street, west of Atwater (near St-Henri), you'll find Perfide, a small boutique-gallery selling and showcasing the works of local artisans and artists. I spoke to José, one half of a team that owns Perfide (the other half being Julia - his girlfriend) at the boutique this week. No last names were given. That is how he signs his films he explained to me. No last names. José and Julia. They are a team; there is no longer an I, it is now "we".
He gave me a tour and explained that the boutique houses over 50 artists, fashion designers, graphic artists, mostly friends of his as well as a multimedia (audio-visual) collective which makes their work available on a website called VacheMorte.com.
The boutique opened 6 months ago, but he and his friends have been making films for a while. They are short films which run from 5 - 20 minutes long and are usually made with his friends, featuring his friends. As we talked, José logged on to vachemorte.com and showed me how the site worked and how to access the films. The designers are also showcased via the Perfide section.
I asked where the name Perfide comes from (perfide is French for perfidy). He told me it means malicious, malice, not very nice (which I already knew because I looked it up in the dictionary ; the OED also describes it as deceitfulness, untrustworthy ; it can also mean treachery). He and the artists are influenced by the horror - fantasy genre. He said, if you look around the shop you'll see monsters. Indeed, the monster does show up as a motif : on prints, t-shirts, dolls, toys, ...
He introduced me to a bit of the art in Perfide: Dresses (which look a bit like frocks or tunics) by Supayana who he said recently won an award; T-shirts and canvases by Patrick (no last names) who uses silkscreen techniques. T-shirts will be made in a limited quantity - a series of 4 for example - with an original print ; bags by Roadkill; graffiti inspired art by AXE; canvases by MTAF (more than a friend); bags by Sarcastik; painted toys (trucks, ambulances) by Some;
Damned Dollies; underwear; copies of Worn (the zine of used and recycled fashions); graphic books and what I thought was a handkerchief but which José said was a patch with "I heart bikes" on it (and now sold) by Dada Pomo - not to be confused with Dada Porno... and much more.
José explained that many garments are hand made and use either recycled or organic fibres.
Patrick prints his art on t-shirts from American Apparel. The price range varies. I saw a canvas for 74 $ as well as one for 400 $.
Perfide is located at 4217 Notre-Dame W. Montreal, Quebec.
http://www.vachemorte.com/
Generally opened Tuesday to Sunday: 12-6
He gave me a tour and explained that the boutique houses over 50 artists, fashion designers, graphic artists, mostly friends of his as well as a multimedia (audio-visual) collective which makes their work available on a website called VacheMorte.com.
The boutique opened 6 months ago, but he and his friends have been making films for a while. They are short films which run from 5 - 20 minutes long and are usually made with his friends, featuring his friends. As we talked, José logged on to vachemorte.com and showed me how the site worked and how to access the films. The designers are also showcased via the Perfide section.
I asked where the name Perfide comes from (perfide is French for perfidy). He told me it means malicious, malice, not very nice (which I already knew because I looked it up in the dictionary ; the OED also describes it as deceitfulness, untrustworthy ; it can also mean treachery). He and the artists are influenced by the horror - fantasy genre. He said, if you look around the shop you'll see monsters. Indeed, the monster does show up as a motif : on prints, t-shirts, dolls, toys, ...
He introduced me to a bit of the art in Perfide: Dresses (which look a bit like frocks or tunics) by Supayana who he said recently won an award; T-shirts and canvases by Patrick (no last names) who uses silkscreen techniques. T-shirts will be made in a limited quantity - a series of 4 for example - with an original print ; bags by Roadkill; graffiti inspired art by AXE; canvases by MTAF (more than a friend); bags by Sarcastik; painted toys (trucks, ambulances) by Some;
Damned Dollies; underwear; copies of Worn (the zine of used and recycled fashions); graphic books and what I thought was a handkerchief but which José said was a patch with "I heart bikes" on it (and now sold) by Dada Pomo - not to be confused with Dada Porno... and much more.
José explained that many garments are hand made and use either recycled or organic fibres.
Patrick prints his art on t-shirts from American Apparel. The price range varies. I saw a canvas for 74 $ as well as one for 400 $.
Perfide is located at 4217 Notre-Dame W. Montreal, Quebec.
http://www.vachemorte.com/
Generally opened Tuesday to Sunday: 12-6
Monday, August 6, 2007
Signs you're funny - In this we do signage
Here we document signage that inspires a smile. Spotted throughout the city of Montreal, we bring you the favorites:
1) Sign in knick knack storefront on St-Laurent Blvd. :
"Broken English is spoken perfectly here"
2) Sign in health food storefront on Monkland ave. :
"Hippies are always welcome"
3) Sign on gate of backyard:
"Beware of cat"
4) Sign advertising tattoo parlor on Notre-Dame street :
"Glamort"
Which brings us to the discussion of bilingual punning. It exists. Right here in Montreal. Will be on look out for more bilingual punning.
----
Have you seen the commercial where the woman is on her cell phone telling her man that she is pregnant and her cell loses reception. She can't hear his happiness at the news, so she assumes that he is not happy. "Way to step up", she says, while you see him yacking happily on the other end.
We hear that a lot in pop culture. Step up. You're not stepping up. You have to step up. Step up, or else, etc. Usually addressed to the man by the woman. This, for the most part, is a good thing - a consequence of the women's movement. We should all at some point "step up." Some men would like the world to know they have and are stepping up. Here is a song sung to the tune of Diana Ross's "I'm coming out" by men who are stepping up.
We're steppin up
We want the world to know
We've got to let it show
We're steppin... up!
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
(30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun)
1) Sign in knick knack storefront on St-Laurent Blvd. :
"Broken English is spoken perfectly here"
2) Sign in health food storefront on Monkland ave. :
"Hippies are always welcome"
3) Sign on gate of backyard:
"Beware of cat"
4) Sign advertising tattoo parlor on Notre-Dame street :
"Glamort"
Which brings us to the discussion of bilingual punning. It exists. Right here in Montreal. Will be on look out for more bilingual punning.
----
Have you seen the commercial where the woman is on her cell phone telling her man that she is pregnant and her cell loses reception. She can't hear his happiness at the news, so she assumes that he is not happy. "Way to step up", she says, while you see him yacking happily on the other end.
We hear that a lot in pop culture. Step up. You're not stepping up. You have to step up. Step up, or else, etc. Usually addressed to the man by the woman. This, for the most part, is a good thing - a consequence of the women's movement. We should all at some point "step up." Some men would like the world to know they have and are stepping up. Here is a song sung to the tune of Diana Ross's "I'm coming out" by men who are stepping up.
We're steppin up
We want the world to know
We've got to let it show
We're steppin... up!
Pinkgrapefruit
100% funscientious
(30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun)
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Cocoa Camino - Interview Q & A
You might be wondering where last week's installment of Sweetery was. It was on hiatus. Back soon with new sweet stories. Need to hone my fact checking skills. Plenty of treats to dish about though.
Instead this week, I interviewed the folks who make Cocoa Camino products. I tried one of their chocolate bars and was very impressed with the taste. It rivals any fine chocolate on the market. The one difference is that theirs is a certified organic fair trade product ; and seeing as I brought up the subject of the fair trade movement in the first Sweetery, I thought it a good idea to interview a company that makes fair trade sweets .
Q: What is Cocoa Camino?
A: La Siembra Co-operative markets all its fair trade certified and organic certified products under the brand name of Cocoa Camino. The word "camino" means path in Spanish, so Cocoa Camino means the "Cocoa Path". The name was chosen to demonstrate that La Siembra is creating a new path, one that reconnects consumers with the producers who grow and harvest the ingredients for our products. This connection is very important to us, since our goal is to ensure that our trading relations contribute to improving the quality of life of our producer partners and their families through our Fair Trade and co-operative business model.
Q: Who started Cocoa Camino and when?
A: La Siembra Co-operative was created in 1999 by three friends working in international development. These founders agreed from the very first that they would establish a fair trade business that would operate as a worker-owned co-operative. They wanted to embrace the same democratic and transparent co-operative model that empowers the producers involved in fair trade, and they wanted to demonstrate that it is possible to achieve business success while adhering to fair trade priciples. They investigated a number of business ideas, and identified a market niche for fair trade, organic hot chocolate. In the beginning, they produced all the hot chocolate themselves, working in the basement of First United Church after completing their day jobs. The hot chocolate was marketed under the brand name of Cocoa Camino. However, with the growth of this project, the founders soon realized that they needed more support, and transitioned the ownership of the business to two new worker-owners, Jeff de Jong and Kevin Thomson, who maintained the worker co-op model and fair trade business practices and who repositioned La Siembra's business model around fair trade chocolate. ...
You will find our brand name Cocoa Camino on all our products. Our chocolate bars, hot chocolate mixes, cocoa powder, chocolate chips, and sugar can be found in supermarkets, health food stores and cafes.
Q: How did the partnership between farmers and fair trade start?
A: ...The main ingredient in (our) hot chocolate , organic cocoa, was first sourced from a co-operative in Costa Rica. From the very start, we wanted to develop trading relationships that adhered to the principles of Fair trade and that supported the development and empowerment of producer co-operatives. The priciples of fair trade are:
* Guaranteeing fair prices to producers;
* Paying premiums to improve social conditions in producer communities;
* Paying producers in advance to assist in long-term planning and pre-harvest financing;
* Supporting democratic participation in farmer-owner co-operatives;
* Ensuring that there is no forced labour;
* Supporting sustainable farming practices.
Today, we continue to follow the principles of fair trade as we source our cocoa from producer co-operatives in the Dominican Republic (CONACADO), Peru (CACVRA), and most recently Panama (COCABO).
Q: The sugar and cocoa are from farms in South America but the products are manufactured in Canada?
A: At the moment, we work with producer partners in the Caribbean, Central and South America, as well as manufacturers in Europe and North America ... We also source our sugar from Paraguay and Costa Rica. Our chocolate bars are manufactured in Europe, our chips are manufactured in the US, and our hot chocolate and chocolate syrup are made in Ontario, while the milk used in our hot chocolates comes from Organic Meadows, a Canadian farmer co-operative. We have chosen a family-owned business in Switzerland to manufacture our bars in order to offer consumers the highest quality Fair Trade Certified and certified organic products.
However, in the long term and as our capacity increases and more manufacturing options become available, we are interested in increasing the amount of manufacturing that takes place both in Canada and in producer countries.
END.
La Siembra Co-operative is located in Ottawa, Canada. Tel: 613-235-6122, fax: 613-235-6877
www.lasiembra.com
www.cocoacamino.com
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Instead this week, I interviewed the folks who make Cocoa Camino products. I tried one of their chocolate bars and was very impressed with the taste. It rivals any fine chocolate on the market. The one difference is that theirs is a certified organic fair trade product ; and seeing as I brought up the subject of the fair trade movement in the first Sweetery, I thought it a good idea to interview a company that makes fair trade sweets .
Q: What is Cocoa Camino?
A: La Siembra Co-operative markets all its fair trade certified and organic certified products under the brand name of Cocoa Camino. The word "camino" means path in Spanish, so Cocoa Camino means the "Cocoa Path". The name was chosen to demonstrate that La Siembra is creating a new path, one that reconnects consumers with the producers who grow and harvest the ingredients for our products. This connection is very important to us, since our goal is to ensure that our trading relations contribute to improving the quality of life of our producer partners and their families through our Fair Trade and co-operative business model.
Q: Who started Cocoa Camino and when?
A: La Siembra Co-operative was created in 1999 by three friends working in international development. These founders agreed from the very first that they would establish a fair trade business that would operate as a worker-owned co-operative. They wanted to embrace the same democratic and transparent co-operative model that empowers the producers involved in fair trade, and they wanted to demonstrate that it is possible to achieve business success while adhering to fair trade priciples. They investigated a number of business ideas, and identified a market niche for fair trade, organic hot chocolate. In the beginning, they produced all the hot chocolate themselves, working in the basement of First United Church after completing their day jobs. The hot chocolate was marketed under the brand name of Cocoa Camino. However, with the growth of this project, the founders soon realized that they needed more support, and transitioned the ownership of the business to two new worker-owners, Jeff de Jong and Kevin Thomson, who maintained the worker co-op model and fair trade business practices and who repositioned La Siembra's business model around fair trade chocolate. ...
You will find our brand name Cocoa Camino on all our products. Our chocolate bars, hot chocolate mixes, cocoa powder, chocolate chips, and sugar can be found in supermarkets, health food stores and cafes.
Q: How did the partnership between farmers and fair trade start?
A: ...The main ingredient in (our) hot chocolate , organic cocoa, was first sourced from a co-operative in Costa Rica. From the very start, we wanted to develop trading relationships that adhered to the principles of Fair trade and that supported the development and empowerment of producer co-operatives. The priciples of fair trade are:
* Guaranteeing fair prices to producers;
* Paying premiums to improve social conditions in producer communities;
* Paying producers in advance to assist in long-term planning and pre-harvest financing;
* Supporting democratic participation in farmer-owner co-operatives;
* Ensuring that there is no forced labour;
* Supporting sustainable farming practices.
Today, we continue to follow the principles of fair trade as we source our cocoa from producer co-operatives in the Dominican Republic (CONACADO), Peru (CACVRA), and most recently Panama (COCABO).
Q: The sugar and cocoa are from farms in South America but the products are manufactured in Canada?
A: At the moment, we work with producer partners in the Caribbean, Central and South America, as well as manufacturers in Europe and North America ... We also source our sugar from Paraguay and Costa Rica. Our chocolate bars are manufactured in Europe, our chips are manufactured in the US, and our hot chocolate and chocolate syrup are made in Ontario, while the milk used in our hot chocolates comes from Organic Meadows, a Canadian farmer co-operative. We have chosen a family-owned business in Switzerland to manufacture our bars in order to offer consumers the highest quality Fair Trade Certified and certified organic products.
However, in the long term and as our capacity increases and more manufacturing options become available, we are interested in increasing the amount of manufacturing that takes place both in Canada and in producer countries.
END.
La Siembra Co-operative is located in Ottawa, Canada. Tel: 613-235-6122, fax: 613-235-6877
www.lasiembra.com
www.cocoacamino.com
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Secret confessions - In this we get the skinny
"Frankly, I'm happy with the status quo. The status quo works for me. Hey, I make about a half a million a year and get to sail my boat 6 months out of the year. Frankly, that works for me." Mr. P on the social change platform of the U.S. democratic presidential candidates.
"I go to demos to meet guys." Young woman we met at a recent rally to end...
" Inspiring messages didn't inspire me. So, now I'm on Prozac." Sad girl we met at a demo.
"I reuse, I recycle, but I don't reduce." Guilt ridden citizen.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70 % fun
"I go to demos to meet guys." Young woman we met at a recent rally to end...
" Inspiring messages didn't inspire me. So, now I'm on Prozac." Sad girl we met at a demo.
"I reuse, I recycle, but I don't reduce." Guilt ridden citizen.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70 % fun
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Quotable politicians
Last night we we were entertained by CNN democratic debate and especially by the inspiring words of Mr. Gravel (Where did he come out of?) :
"These people are not going to change anything . " (directed at other candidates)
or,
Inspiring "we're going to change the world " video song of the Obama camp : $ 10 000
"The best man for the job is a woman" video of the Clinton camp : $ 10 000
Gravel' s cynical outburst : These people are not going to change anything : priceless.
Pinkgrapefruit
30 % fun, 70 % conscientious
30 % conscientious, 70 % fun
"These people are not going to change anything . " (directed at other candidates)
or,
Inspiring "we're going to change the world " video song of the Obama camp : $ 10 000
"The best man for the job is a woman" video of the Clinton camp : $ 10 000
Gravel' s cynical outburst : These people are not going to change anything : priceless.
Pinkgrapefruit
30 % fun, 70 % conscientious
30 % conscientious, 70 % fun
Monday, July 23, 2007
United Colors of College - In this we seek knowledge
United Colors of College:
The post modern ( and important) approach to educational inclusiveness.
A vignette -
A panel discussion in an undisclosed university.
Panel member 1: God is a woman
Panel member 2: God is a black man
Panel member 3: God is a black woman
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
The post modern ( and important) approach to educational inclusiveness.
A vignette -
A panel discussion in an undisclosed university.
Panel member 1: God is a woman
Panel member 2: God is a black man
Panel member 3: God is a black woman
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Friday, July 20, 2007
Busting our porc chops - In this we are stalked by live stock
Busting our porc chops:
Being given a hard time for eating meat.
A vignette -
I met my three friends at the latest dinner hot spot. We ordered meat. And a big bottle of red wine. Friend number 1 had a great big porc chop. Friend number two had a great big steak. Friend number three had a great big hamburger. The appetizer was foie gras. We felt very naughty. We were bad. We wondered out loud whether our meat had been slaughtered humanely. "Isn't that a little oxymoronic?" friend 1 asked. "No, I've seen the documentary Abattoir, it's nasty!" said friend number 2. "If the French can't even make it sound good, you know it's got to be bad."
Ouside, a demonstration seemed to be forming. A crowd of people taped a poster of a cow with a severed head oozing blood to the window. These days, anti-meat demos were routine.
"Are we at a pro-choice rally?" said friend 1. "It reminds me of the days at the clinic," said friend 2.
We heard them chanting: "They're butchers ! "
We ordered dessert.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% conscientious, 70% fun , or
30 % fun, 70 % conscientious
Being given a hard time for eating meat.
A vignette -
I met my three friends at the latest dinner hot spot. We ordered meat. And a big bottle of red wine. Friend number 1 had a great big porc chop. Friend number two had a great big steak. Friend number three had a great big hamburger. The appetizer was foie gras. We felt very naughty. We were bad. We wondered out loud whether our meat had been slaughtered humanely. "Isn't that a little oxymoronic?" friend 1 asked. "No, I've seen the documentary Abattoir, it's nasty!" said friend number 2. "If the French can't even make it sound good, you know it's got to be bad."
Ouside, a demonstration seemed to be forming. A crowd of people taped a poster of a cow with a severed head oozing blood to the window. These days, anti-meat demos were routine.
"Are we at a pro-choice rally?" said friend 1. "It reminds me of the days at the clinic," said friend 2.
We heard them chanting: "They're butchers ! "
We ordered dessert.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% conscientious, 70% fun , or
30 % fun, 70 % conscientious
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Atelier Renée Normandin - a profile
If you happen to find yourself on the Plateau Mt-Royal in Montreal (which if you are visiting, I would strongly recommend), stop by the atelier-boutique Reliure Artisanale Renée Normandin at 371 Roy st E. You can watch bookbinding artisans at work and pick up the cutest little hand made notebooks.
We stumbled upon it one night when it was closed but were enchanted by the little cahiers she had displayed in her window. We spoke to Renée Normandin over the phone briefly to find out a bit more. The interview was conducted in French and is a translation.
In the atelier which she took over from another owner-artisan four years ago, Normandin applies the skills she has mastered as a binder.
"We repair old books, fill custom made orders, make blank books, geneologies, marriage books..." says Normandin.
They do all the work inside their boutique, therefore customers are invited to watch artisans at work. A real treat.
"The customer sometimes has to be patient, because we might be working on a more complex binding, but we will eventually answer their request," she explains.
One of the types of paper they use is cotton paper. We asked if there was an advantage to using cotton paper?
"It is of a higher quality, lasts longer and is acid free ," she says.
They also work with leather, marble, cloth, Nepalese paper.
She adds, "customers come in asking for their books to be printed with paper they have brought in . People come in with doctoral thesis, video game scripts."
They also use techniques of protection and conservation, work on collections, and work on covers ranging from supple to rigid.
They offer workshops and courses. The workshops are one day, usually a Saturday and provide the opportunity to work on a specific project. They cost between 75 $ - 95 $.
A course is 10 classes of 2 hours each where a specific technique can be perfected. They are $ 350.00.
Reliure is the French word for binding. She shares her space with Josée Roberge, an artisan who has been binding for 20 years and is still learning techniques.
"It has a long history and tradition ," she says.
You can find a web site if you look up Atelier Soleil or relieur.ca on the net.
Phone number: (514) 849-8626
Closed Sunday and Monday.
We stumbled upon it one night when it was closed but were enchanted by the little cahiers she had displayed in her window. We spoke to Renée Normandin over the phone briefly to find out a bit more. The interview was conducted in French and is a translation.
In the atelier which she took over from another owner-artisan four years ago, Normandin applies the skills she has mastered as a binder.
"We repair old books, fill custom made orders, make blank books, geneologies, marriage books..." says Normandin.
They do all the work inside their boutique, therefore customers are invited to watch artisans at work. A real treat.
"The customer sometimes has to be patient, because we might be working on a more complex binding, but we will eventually answer their request," she explains.
One of the types of paper they use is cotton paper. We asked if there was an advantage to using cotton paper?
"It is of a higher quality, lasts longer and is acid free ," she says.
They also work with leather, marble, cloth, Nepalese paper.
She adds, "customers come in asking for their books to be printed with paper they have brought in . People come in with doctoral thesis, video game scripts."
They also use techniques of protection and conservation, work on collections, and work on covers ranging from supple to rigid.
They offer workshops and courses. The workshops are one day, usually a Saturday and provide the opportunity to work on a specific project. They cost between 75 $ - 95 $.
A course is 10 classes of 2 hours each where a specific technique can be perfected. They are $ 350.00.
Reliure is the French word for binding. She shares her space with Josée Roberge, an artisan who has been binding for 20 years and is still learning techniques.
"It has a long history and tradition ," she says.
You can find a web site if you look up Atelier Soleil or relieur.ca on the net.
Phone number: (514) 849-8626
Closed Sunday and Monday.
Sweetery - In this we find sweet inspiration
Sweetery:
A bakery, shop, grocer, restaurant, etc. , that sells a dessert we love to eat.
We feel we must bring to you our most treasured morsels. So here, one of our writers will attempt to bring you a weekly installment of Sweetery, to share with you some of her sweetest inspirations.
It is one of life's great gifts (proof there is a god - or proof that the human condition is not entirely inhuman) that we can enjoy life's wonderful sugary confections. Having been enlightened by several books on the origin of sugar ( we are university graduates after all), I must inform you that sugar has its roots in the slave trade (Many of you may already be aware of this fact). Not exactly what you want to hear before reading about or biting into your most yummiest of pastries. Yes, sugar goes way, way back. You can check Amazon, you'll find books on the subject. There's more than one reason many people refer to sweets as guilty pleasures. If you want to find out more about humanizing sugar, you might want to read up on the fair trade movement (It does not only apply to coffee).
But this column is about eating sweets. So sweets we shall eat and write about.
The first dessert I'd like to write about is a cake I ate prepared by my mother for a birthday party. I asked her what it was because it was simply delicious. She said it was called a Plum Joulu and a guest piped in with "Yes, it is a cake made in Finland". Hence, my mother now calls it the Finnish Plum Joulu. We are not Finnish.
The way my mother prepared it was a little different than the original recipe which requires plum jam - she used cherry jam. She could not find plum jam. We are plum jam deprived in these parts.
I googled Finnish Plum Joulu and I have to say, not much came up; I was a little disappointed. There were a few entries which seem to suggest that yes, they make it Finland and it seems, they make it at Christmas. The exact recipe I have not, but I will continue to look for a pastry chef (or a Finnish person) who is an expert on the plum joulu, its history and tradition. Do they make it elsewhere? I know not. I need an expert. So if you know anybody...
I looked for a Finnish restaurant in the phone book, and nothing. But I will not give up. I will not rest until I have fully understood the plum joulu. Incidentally, you must try it, if you haven't already. To die for.
The plum joulu is made of a white cake with almond cut into four layers with whipped cream and plum jam in between. But a more precise recipe is to follow.
We hoped you liked our first installment of Sweetery.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70 % fun
A bakery, shop, grocer, restaurant, etc. , that sells a dessert we love to eat.
We feel we must bring to you our most treasured morsels. So here, one of our writers will attempt to bring you a weekly installment of Sweetery, to share with you some of her sweetest inspirations.
It is one of life's great gifts (proof there is a god - or proof that the human condition is not entirely inhuman) that we can enjoy life's wonderful sugary confections. Having been enlightened by several books on the origin of sugar ( we are university graduates after all), I must inform you that sugar has its roots in the slave trade (Many of you may already be aware of this fact). Not exactly what you want to hear before reading about or biting into your most yummiest of pastries. Yes, sugar goes way, way back. You can check Amazon, you'll find books on the subject. There's more than one reason many people refer to sweets as guilty pleasures. If you want to find out more about humanizing sugar, you might want to read up on the fair trade movement (It does not only apply to coffee).
But this column is about eating sweets. So sweets we shall eat and write about.
The first dessert I'd like to write about is a cake I ate prepared by my mother for a birthday party. I asked her what it was because it was simply delicious. She said it was called a Plum Joulu and a guest piped in with "Yes, it is a cake made in Finland". Hence, my mother now calls it the Finnish Plum Joulu. We are not Finnish.
The way my mother prepared it was a little different than the original recipe which requires plum jam - she used cherry jam. She could not find plum jam. We are plum jam deprived in these parts.
I googled Finnish Plum Joulu and I have to say, not much came up; I was a little disappointed. There were a few entries which seem to suggest that yes, they make it Finland and it seems, they make it at Christmas. The exact recipe I have not, but I will continue to look for a pastry chef (or a Finnish person) who is an expert on the plum joulu, its history and tradition. Do they make it elsewhere? I know not. I need an expert. So if you know anybody...
I looked for a Finnish restaurant in the phone book, and nothing. But I will not give up. I will not rest until I have fully understood the plum joulu. Incidentally, you must try it, if you haven't already. To die for.
The plum joulu is made of a white cake with almond cut into four layers with whipped cream and plum jam in between. But a more precise recipe is to follow.
We hoped you liked our first installment of Sweetery.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70 % fun
Fart mart - In this we go shopping
Fart Mart :
A shopping mart that sells farts.
We found a fart mart on the outskirts of Jersey. We spoke to the manager.
"What kind of farts do you sell?"
"We sell all kinds. The scented ones are very popular , of course. We have lavender farts, rose scented farts , mint scented farts. But the best seller is the unscented fart. It is a completely odorless fart; a real revolution in farting. It outsells the Coco Chanel fart by a mudslide."
We say, thanks for sharing ! Fiy - we don't mind the smell of farts at all!
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
A shopping mart that sells farts.
We found a fart mart on the outskirts of Jersey. We spoke to the manager.
"What kind of farts do you sell?"
"We sell all kinds. The scented ones are very popular , of course. We have lavender farts, rose scented farts , mint scented farts. But the best seller is the unscented fart. It is a completely odorless fart; a real revolution in farting. It outsells the Coco Chanel fart by a mudslide."
We say, thanks for sharing ! Fiy - we don't mind the smell of farts at all!
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Hey, In Your Face - In this we are poets
Hey, In Your Face (accompanied by music, this poem is sung)
Hey, In Your Face
You're in my space
I can't reach my state of grace
When you're always trying to get in my face
I know you're on a mission
But please, ask for permission
When you want to get in my face
In my space
I'm not really in the mood for a can of mace
I'm trying to reach nirvana
But you had to follow me into the sauna
And now I can't get the nasty sight of you out of my head
It's a trauma !
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Hey, In Your Face
You're in my space
I can't reach my state of grace
When you're always trying to get in my face
I know you're on a mission
But please, ask for permission
When you want to get in my face
In my space
I'm not really in the mood for a can of mace
I'm trying to reach nirvana
But you had to follow me into the sauna
And now I can't get the nasty sight of you out of my head
It's a trauma !
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Thursday, July 12, 2007
What is Washi? - In this we interview
In this post, we bring you our first arts & culture interview. We set out to find out about Washi. What is Washi? Washi, we are told by Stan Phillips, co-owner of Au Papier Japonais at 24 Fairmount W. in Montreal, is Japanese Paper. (Wa for Japanese and shi for paper).
It is a hand-made paper made in Japan for over 1200 years consisting of the long inner-bark fibres of three plants indigenous to Japan - kozo being the main one used. The other two aside from kozo (Japanese mulberry) are Gampi tree and Mitsumata shrub. No forests are depleted in making washi as kozo is a farm crop and is regenerated annually. It is also acid-free or very low in acidity which is another one of its qualities.
His love of washi began when his co-owner and partner Lorraine Pritchard, an artist, stumbled into The Japanese Paper Place in Toronto and discovered the many uses she could put Washi to as an artist. Buying so much of it, she was offered a job and later they moved to Montreal and decided to open their own store, Au Papier Japonais.
"Artists like the translucency of Washi, the strength of it... the way they can intermix images... several layers can interact in interesting ways," says Phillips. "It is so thin, yet you can still do stuff on it... you can copy on it, you can pass it through a computer printer."
In fact, they offer many workshops, one of which is Photography on Washi. So photo enthusiasts can try their hand at 'marrying the high tech digital world with traditional craftsmanship.' Others include Lampshade Making taught by Phillips. We asked how the paper doesn't catch fire. He responded: " I teach some tricks of the trade like leaving enough space between the bulb and paper, circulate enough air between top and bottom, the paper never gets hot."
Phillips points out that people sometimes associate Japanese paper with rice paper but in fact he considers that a racial slur. This stereotype comes from the 1800's when a British official named the paper made in Japan, rice paper. As we explained earlier, Washi is made up of three fibres of three different plants.
Some of its many uses are: invitations, photo albums, collage, lighting, bookbinding,calligraphy, wall decoration, origami, cards, shades, shoji screens, gift wrapping, lampshades.
For more about the history and process of making Washi, you can consult their website. There are also several books on the topic.
We hope you enjoyed our little primer.
May your tissue no longer be an issue.
It is a hand-made paper made in Japan for over 1200 years consisting of the long inner-bark fibres of three plants indigenous to Japan - kozo being the main one used. The other two aside from kozo (Japanese mulberry) are Gampi tree and Mitsumata shrub. No forests are depleted in making washi as kozo is a farm crop and is regenerated annually. It is also acid-free or very low in acidity which is another one of its qualities.
His love of washi began when his co-owner and partner Lorraine Pritchard, an artist, stumbled into The Japanese Paper Place in Toronto and discovered the many uses she could put Washi to as an artist. Buying so much of it, she was offered a job and later they moved to Montreal and decided to open their own store, Au Papier Japonais.
"Artists like the translucency of Washi, the strength of it... the way they can intermix images... several layers can interact in interesting ways," says Phillips. "It is so thin, yet you can still do stuff on it... you can copy on it, you can pass it through a computer printer."
In fact, they offer many workshops, one of which is Photography on Washi. So photo enthusiasts can try their hand at 'marrying the high tech digital world with traditional craftsmanship.' Others include Lampshade Making taught by Phillips. We asked how the paper doesn't catch fire. He responded: " I teach some tricks of the trade like leaving enough space between the bulb and paper, circulate enough air between top and bottom, the paper never gets hot."
Phillips points out that people sometimes associate Japanese paper with rice paper but in fact he considers that a racial slur. This stereotype comes from the 1800's when a British official named the paper made in Japan, rice paper. As we explained earlier, Washi is made up of three fibres of three different plants.
Some of its many uses are: invitations, photo albums, collage, lighting, bookbinding,calligraphy, wall decoration, origami, cards, shades, shoji screens, gift wrapping, lampshades.
For more about the history and process of making Washi, you can consult their website. There are also several books on the topic.
We hope you enjoyed our little primer.
May your tissue no longer be an issue.
Monday, July 9, 2007
6 degrees of separation - In this we ask, why go to college?
Six degrees of separation:
A world in which the more university education you have, the more you find yourself separated from your dream job.
-----
"I was so close to landing my dream gig after my first degree, because of an acqaintance who knew the editor at Daily Variety," said a friend of ours. "But that fell through, and after a long slog I went back and got a second degree in photojournalism and now I'm a barista at Starbucks. I'm thinking if I go Ivy League for my third, maybe they'll promote me to manager. "
----
A special poem inspired by Just Getting By (Elizabeth Sheperd - Jazz musician)
6 degrees
If I had only gone Ivy league
maybe I wouldn't be holding this squeegee
I make coffee for a living
It's never really a very Happy Thanksgiving.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
A world in which the more university education you have, the more you find yourself separated from your dream job.
-----
"I was so close to landing my dream gig after my first degree, because of an acqaintance who knew the editor at Daily Variety," said a friend of ours. "But that fell through, and after a long slog I went back and got a second degree in photojournalism and now I'm a barista at Starbucks. I'm thinking if I go Ivy League for my third, maybe they'll promote me to manager. "
----
A special poem inspired by Just Getting By (Elizabeth Sheperd - Jazz musician)
6 degrees
If I had only gone Ivy league
maybe I wouldn't be holding this squeegee
I make coffee for a living
It's never really a very Happy Thanksgiving.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Fort Knox , Canada - In this we warn the rodents
Fort Knox , Canada:
A garden, somewhere in Canada, heavily protected by a miniature wire electrical fence capable of delivering an electrical jolt to small rodents (namely squirrels and groundhogs), thereby keeping them out of aforementioned garden and protecting vegetables.
This in no way harms the rodents (they might actually get a little buzz).
We think this is the more eco-friendly alternative.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
A garden, somewhere in Canada, heavily protected by a miniature wire electrical fence capable of delivering an electrical jolt to small rodents (namely squirrels and groundhogs), thereby keeping them out of aforementioned garden and protecting vegetables.
This in no way harms the rodents (they might actually get a little buzz).
We think this is the more eco-friendly alternative.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious, or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Dead Earth - In this we ask, will the Earth survive Live Earth?
Dead Earth:
The state of the Earth post Live Earth.
"They trampled humans, they trampled wild life, it was a mad house!" said one festival attendee.
" One guy tossed his cookies right next to me!" said another.
"Several dogs got confused by a frequency used by a musician, and they went rabid!" said a third.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
The state of the Earth post Live Earth.
"They trampled humans, they trampled wild life, it was a mad house!" said one festival attendee.
" One guy tossed his cookies right next to me!" said another.
"Several dogs got confused by a frequency used by a musician, and they went rabid!" said a third.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
pop coma - In this we ask,"who is Harry Potter"?
Pop coma:
State of being characterized by a total ignorance of pop culture and its references.
Who is Harry Potter? asked one friend to another over coffee.
You really do live in a permanent state of pop coma, don't you? replied the other.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Soon, bringing you a new way to think about tissue.
State of being characterized by a total ignorance of pop culture and its references.
Who is Harry Potter? asked one friend to another over coffee.
You really do live in a permanent state of pop coma, don't you? replied the other.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious or
30% conscientious, 70% fun
Soon, bringing you a new way to think about tissue.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Flour Power - In this, we think dessert, not desert
Flour Power:
The eco need to try to find renewable sources of biofuel in everything we eat, prompted by the ABC report on Twinkie, Deconstructed. Notably, we see a wealth of potential in sweets.
"Those twinkies contain enough petroleum to power a small generator," says one expert. "Fructose is the new gold," says another (not seen on ABC).
We say, stuff those pastries in our gas tanks.
The eco need to try to find renewable sources of biofuel in everything we eat, prompted by the ABC report on Twinkie, Deconstructed. Notably, we see a wealth of potential in sweets.
"Those twinkies contain enough petroleum to power a small generator," says one expert. "Fructose is the new gold," says another (not seen on ABC).
We say, stuff those pastries in our gas tanks.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Red Rage - In this, we discover the middle finger
Red Rage:
Sudden outbursts, speeches, expressions of anger directed at anyone perceived to be milking you for everything you've got. Or, Sudden outburts, speeches, expressions of anger directed at anyone who is not raging against those who are milking you for everything you've got.
Let us give an example through role playing. In this vignette, we will illuminate our point through several characters: customer service reps and the customer.
FICTION:
Store and the City -
Customer has entered big store - let's call it Big Bonus. Customer wants electronics. Customer waits... and waits... Already annoyed, because customer thinks to herself, these people, that is Big Bonus have lots and lots of $$$. Anyways, Customer is served by a very pleasant yet talkative - let's call him sales rep. Sales rep is asked, what do you think of electronic? Sales rep begins speech about how they are all made in a certain country (it starts with a C) and well they are not what they used to be... it could in fact conk out from one day to the next. Conk out from one day to the next, customer exclaims in horror! Well give it to me anyways. Customer appreciates the honesty - if that is in fact honesty. this, however, is not the problem.
Sales rep then wants to sell customer something that viscerally customer feels she probably does not need. (well maybe she does). Customer then retreats into herself, talking to herself: It's
a racket, she cries out in vain frustration - while, of course, purchasing whatever sales rep is offering.
Customer must then come back to pick up purchase following day only to be met by other sales rep sporting a big honker of a tattoo proffesing the purchase is not ready. Customer understandably unhappy ( ever heard of a phone?) cries out: are you a marxist? and I'm going to call the CIA - none of which really makes any sense - but leaves customer happy that she didn't keep it bottled up inside.
Customer leaves and is almost mowed down in parking lot by tattoo rep.
Customer then tells her 3 friends over breakfast at a diner what happened and one says: you experienced road rage.
No, I experienced Red Rage.
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
Sudden outbursts, speeches, expressions of anger directed at anyone perceived to be milking you for everything you've got. Or, Sudden outburts, speeches, expressions of anger directed at anyone who is not raging against those who are milking you for everything you've got.
Let us give an example through role playing. In this vignette, we will illuminate our point through several characters: customer service reps and the customer.
FICTION:
Store and the City -
Customer has entered big store - let's call it Big Bonus. Customer wants electronics. Customer waits... and waits... Already annoyed, because customer thinks to herself, these people, that is Big Bonus have lots and lots of $$$. Anyways, Customer is served by a very pleasant yet talkative - let's call him sales rep. Sales rep is asked, what do you think of electronic? Sales rep begins speech about how they are all made in a certain country (it starts with a C) and well they are not what they used to be... it could in fact conk out from one day to the next. Conk out from one day to the next, customer exclaims in horror! Well give it to me anyways. Customer appreciates the honesty - if that is in fact honesty. this, however, is not the problem.
Sales rep then wants to sell customer something that viscerally customer feels she probably does not need. (well maybe she does). Customer then retreats into herself, talking to herself: It's
a racket, she cries out in vain frustration - while, of course, purchasing whatever sales rep is offering.
Customer must then come back to pick up purchase following day only to be met by other sales rep sporting a big honker of a tattoo proffesing the purchase is not ready. Customer understandably unhappy ( ever heard of a phone?) cries out: are you a marxist? and I'm going to call the CIA - none of which really makes any sense - but leaves customer happy that she didn't keep it bottled up inside.
Customer leaves and is almost mowed down in parking lot by tattoo rep.
Customer then tells her 3 friends over breakfast at a diner what happened and one says: you experienced road rage.
No, I experienced Red Rage.
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
ManSerious - In this, we seek redemption
ManSerious:
Taking down, rescuing or shooting people at close range without flinching in Hollywood movies.
Examples: Robert De Niro in Heat (He's about as Man Serious as we have)... Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano ... Dennis Haysbert in The Unit... S.W.A.T teams in general...
Women can be ManSerious: note Jennifer Garner in Alias...
Redemption is usually not far behind.
---------------------------------------
An extra: publicists are now bringing the revolution to a TV screen near you. Stay tuned...
More on t(issue) at a later date.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious...
or, 30% conscientious, 70% fun
Taking down, rescuing or shooting people at close range without flinching in Hollywood movies.
Examples: Robert De Niro in Heat (He's about as Man Serious as we have)... Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano ... Dennis Haysbert in The Unit... S.W.A.T teams in general...
Women can be ManSerious: note Jennifer Garner in Alias...
Redemption is usually not far behind.
---------------------------------------
An extra: publicists are now bringing the revolution to a TV screen near you. Stay tuned...
More on t(issue) at a later date.
Pinkgrapefruit
30% fun, 70% conscientious...
or, 30% conscientious, 70% fun
Friday, June 22, 2007
T(issue) - In this, our tissue is an issue
T(issue): When our tissues and all other household items start becoming an issue. As in, can we recycle our kleenex? Or are we going to have to start using handkerchiefs? - (It's so pre-industrial).
In this, we discover the concept of biodegradability.
Next week...
Meditations on this and other topics of interest.
Pinkgrapefruit -
30% fun, 70% conscientious
or, 30% conscientious, 70% fun
In this, we discover the concept of biodegradability.
Next week...
Meditations on this and other topics of interest.
Pinkgrapefruit -
30% fun, 70% conscientious
or, 30% conscientious, 70% fun
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Funscientious - In this we try our best
Funscientious:
An outgrowth of the hippy movement, funscientiousness is a state of being characterized by a desire for fun while at the same time, characterized by a need to save the world.
It is becoming more and more prevalent in our culture.
Welcome to Pinkgrapefruit.
30% conscientious, 70% fun...
or 30% fun, 70% conscientious
An outgrowth of the hippy movement, funscientiousness is a state of being characterized by a desire for fun while at the same time, characterized by a need to save the world.
It is becoming more and more prevalent in our culture.
Welcome to Pinkgrapefruit.
30% conscientious, 70% fun...
or 30% fun, 70% conscientious
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)