I picked up a copy of The Daily to read Candy Ambusch's Personality Type. I was starting to feel a little ganged up on and now after hearing her on the radio, I suspected something was going on. My thong source didn't seem to know anything - although I felt she might be keeping something from me. She had called me inviting me to another demonstration.
I was still trying to get a column at a major newspaper - for now I had to be content with writing on my blog. I turned to page 10 - Personality Type by Candy Ambusch : The Ex-Connie
' I once met a girl named Katie who could not pronouce Akani. She thought it was ah Connie. She kept quipping I'm so sorry, I thought it was Connie. I now know it is Akani. We forced her into rehabiliation, because she was so annoying - where she had to rehabilitate herself and she then became an ex-connie. '
It went on and on...
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Dusty's Extreme Makeover
It was the morning of ambushes. I went down for breakfast to find my mother holding hedge clippers. "Good morning. Please go and trim the bushes. They are getting very bushy. You never do any chores around here. It is time you start. By the way. I keep picking up long hairs. Are they yours? Of course they are. Your father and I do not have long hairs. Go get a haircut. Are you moving out soon?"
"Ya".
"Why don't you get involved in a group. Join the tall club," she said as she handed me the clippers and left.
I went to trim the bushes.
Later, I went to the café. I ran into Omar.
"I have a present for you."
"My birthday was 5 months ago, " I said.
"Ya, what happened to you. It's like you and your column dissapeared. Who blames a 7 months hiatus on a technical glitch? Anyways. Here you go. "
I opened the box. It was a compact with a mirror in it.
"I noticed you were looking at yourself in the rear view mirrors of parked cars. Are you suffering from some sort of complex?"
No time to answer.
"How's that lug-a-mug working out for you?" He asked.
"I didn't bring it today. It doesn't fit in my bag. "
"Only 9 more years left of landfill, you know," he said.
"Ya, I do know, but, you know, the paper cup is more convenient," i said sarcastically knowing that I was violating the inconvenient truth: his favorite movie." I said.
"I guess i have to buy you another present," he said smiling and then he left.
I had been looking at myself rather a lot these past few months. Every 5th parked car or so, I compulsively looked at myself in the mirror. It was the aftershocks of that damn shop and awe.
Somebody, please give me a job, I thought to myself as I walked home.
"Ya".
"Why don't you get involved in a group. Join the tall club," she said as she handed me the clippers and left.
I went to trim the bushes.
Later, I went to the café. I ran into Omar.
"I have a present for you."
"My birthday was 5 months ago, " I said.
"Ya, what happened to you. It's like you and your column dissapeared. Who blames a 7 months hiatus on a technical glitch? Anyways. Here you go. "
I opened the box. It was a compact with a mirror in it.
"I noticed you were looking at yourself in the rear view mirrors of parked cars. Are you suffering from some sort of complex?"
No time to answer.
"How's that lug-a-mug working out for you?" He asked.
"I didn't bring it today. It doesn't fit in my bag. "
"Only 9 more years left of landfill, you know," he said.
"Ya, I do know, but, you know, the paper cup is more convenient," i said sarcastically knowing that I was violating the inconvenient truth: his favorite movie." I said.
"I guess i have to buy you another present," he said smiling and then he left.
I had been looking at myself rather a lot these past few months. Every 5th parked car or so, I compulsively looked at myself in the mirror. It was the aftershocks of that damn shop and awe.
Somebody, please give me a job, I thought to myself as I walked home.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Candy Ambusch
I awoke one saturday morning to the sounds of a woman's voice on the radio. It was the equivalent of a bullhorn - Indeed there was loads of bull.
'I'm writing a column: it's called Personality Type. One character is a Mspronouncer. She reads Ms and is always mispronouncing words that are not of the English language. For example, She confuses siempre with siembra -and then brags, 'that's Spanish'. She's a crusading feminist who keeps pissing people off because she says things like 'I like this Guam' - It's guava you idiot. One is a country, the other is a fruit. ... so she has to go to therapy and get self help to overcome her problem. That's one character... "
Was she mocking me, who knew? All i knew was that it felt like an ambush - mostly because I do confuse my words and I do mispronouce. I usually have to look up new words in the dictionary on a weekly basis. I thought brocante was embroidery; it is in fact the french for second hand goods. I thought sartorial pertained to Sartre. I have more examples - many more.
Who was this person ambushing me so early in the morning? It was Candy AMBusch - the rival writer. What a coincidence! I had just watched Psycho Beach party on TV last night.
In a way, it was refreshing to be awoken so early in the morning - these days, i was so used to being caught in a nooner.
'I'm writing a column: it's called Personality Type. One character is a Mspronouncer. She reads Ms and is always mispronouncing words that are not of the English language. For example, She confuses siempre with siembra -and then brags, 'that's Spanish'. She's a crusading feminist who keeps pissing people off because she says things like 'I like this Guam' - It's guava you idiot. One is a country, the other is a fruit. ... so she has to go to therapy and get self help to overcome her problem. That's one character... "
Was she mocking me, who knew? All i knew was that it felt like an ambush - mostly because I do confuse my words and I do mispronouce. I usually have to look up new words in the dictionary on a weekly basis. I thought brocante was embroidery; it is in fact the french for second hand goods. I thought sartorial pertained to Sartre. I have more examples - many more.
Who was this person ambushing me so early in the morning? It was Candy AMBusch - the rival writer. What a coincidence! I had just watched Psycho Beach party on TV last night.
In a way, it was refreshing to be awoken so early in the morning - these days, i was so used to being caught in a nooner.
The Cleaner on A&E-review
The Cleaner which airs on A&E on Tuesdays at 10 pm is the sleeper hit of ther summer. TV Guide calls Benjamin Bratt addictive and I would have to agree. Inspired by a true story, Bratt portrays a moustached and goatied character named William Banks who is hired by clients suspecting their loved ones are using drugs. A former addict who hit bottom and spent time in prison, he commits himself to helping those in need and getting them clean. He is a private investigator to the afflicted and works with a team that consists of himself, Darnell played by Kevin Michael Richardson, Akani played by Grace Park and Swenton played byEsteban Powell.
The home page on A&E describes Banks as an extreme interventionist who uses unconventional methods to uncover the truth about the people he is hired to spy on. His team will go undercover, snoop through their personal belongings, pose as buyers and eventually get them cut off from their dealer at which point they bottom out and this is where the recovery is supposed to begin and the episode usually ends. It is like a Crime Scene Investigation meets Intervention with a tone that is at once mellow, spiritual and suspenseful. It is always intriguing and it forces us to empathize with the characters' struggles: their struggles to come to terms with a problem that is ruining their lives. The recovery is not the central focus of The Cleaner - the chase is the focus and that is what makes it compelling.
Banks is a very human character trying to balance his devotion to helping others like him and to his family who has recently let him back into their lives. In contrast to the manic scenes of cocaine sniffing of the intervened, his home life feels like a slow dance waiting to combust. With each new episode, he and his wife Melissa, played by Amy Price-Francis, talk their way closer to a sexual reconciliation - William sleeps on the couch and his bemused expressions of sexual frustration make him charming. Lula, his daughter, played by Liliana Mumy has embraced his return home without a second thought but his son Ben, played by Brett Delbuono is a little more sceptical.
In last week's episode titled Chaos Theory, the team is hired to follow a university professor who uses to cope with the pressures of publishing a thesis.
The opening sequence has Melissa explaining to Lula and Ben about Quinn, a friend of William's he met in prison and who is credited with saving William's life. These are some of the hard issues that they must tackle as a family but it is done with a finesse and warmth that is very powerful. They are planning for a party in which the very rich and hearty folky theme song is sung: Follow That Sound ( until I can't be found) by Sharon Little.
After the party, Ben finds a siringe on the bathroom floor and suspects that his father is using again. He tells his mother and she confronts William asking 'Is it yours?' And then adds: " I used to pick them up" and "You were a great liar". He says no and vows to find out to whom it belongs.
Meanwhile, the team has 'moved in' on Teddy, the professor and he is close to bottoming out. They find him in a park trying to score, tranquilize him and transport him to the recovery house.
William confronts Quinn about the siringe and at first he denies it is his but then admits that he is the one who brought it into the house. William tells Quinn he is no longer welcome in his home.
The episode ends with the lyrics to a song by the Band of Horses: 'When I lived alone, was there a ghost in my house?'
Much of the intrigue lies in the family drama and the ways in which they deal with the issues that recovery forces them to confront as well as in the new strategies the team devises to pursue the addicted.
The home page on A&E describes Banks as an extreme interventionist who uses unconventional methods to uncover the truth about the people he is hired to spy on. His team will go undercover, snoop through their personal belongings, pose as buyers and eventually get them cut off from their dealer at which point they bottom out and this is where the recovery is supposed to begin and the episode usually ends. It is like a Crime Scene Investigation meets Intervention with a tone that is at once mellow, spiritual and suspenseful. It is always intriguing and it forces us to empathize with the characters' struggles: their struggles to come to terms with a problem that is ruining their lives. The recovery is not the central focus of The Cleaner - the chase is the focus and that is what makes it compelling.
Banks is a very human character trying to balance his devotion to helping others like him and to his family who has recently let him back into their lives. In contrast to the manic scenes of cocaine sniffing of the intervened, his home life feels like a slow dance waiting to combust. With each new episode, he and his wife Melissa, played by Amy Price-Francis, talk their way closer to a sexual reconciliation - William sleeps on the couch and his bemused expressions of sexual frustration make him charming. Lula, his daughter, played by Liliana Mumy has embraced his return home without a second thought but his son Ben, played by Brett Delbuono is a little more sceptical.
In last week's episode titled Chaos Theory, the team is hired to follow a university professor who uses to cope with the pressures of publishing a thesis.
The opening sequence has Melissa explaining to Lula and Ben about Quinn, a friend of William's he met in prison and who is credited with saving William's life. These are some of the hard issues that they must tackle as a family but it is done with a finesse and warmth that is very powerful. They are planning for a party in which the very rich and hearty folky theme song is sung: Follow That Sound ( until I can't be found) by Sharon Little.
After the party, Ben finds a siringe on the bathroom floor and suspects that his father is using again. He tells his mother and she confronts William asking 'Is it yours?' And then adds: " I used to pick them up" and "You were a great liar". He says no and vows to find out to whom it belongs.
Meanwhile, the team has 'moved in' on Teddy, the professor and he is close to bottoming out. They find him in a park trying to score, tranquilize him and transport him to the recovery house.
William confronts Quinn about the siringe and at first he denies it is his but then admits that he is the one who brought it into the house. William tells Quinn he is no longer welcome in his home.
The episode ends with the lyrics to a song by the Band of Horses: 'When I lived alone, was there a ghost in my house?'
Much of the intrigue lies in the family drama and the ways in which they deal with the issues that recovery forces them to confront as well as in the new strategies the team devises to pursue the addicted.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Gallery AKA-Corno
You will find one artist on the walls of Gallery AKA: Corno. An artist who began her career in Montreal, she is now based in New York and has achieved international success. I sat down with Linda Corriveau, gallery director, about the gallery and the artist she represents.
"Corno has been a painter for 30 years. I was working with her in New York before opening this gallery," she said.
"I've been here 2 years. We were so focused on the international market that now at last she can turn her interest back to Montreal. She was away for 25 years," said Corriveau.
Corno was born in Chicoutimi and completed a BFA at the Université du Québec a Montréal. She began living off her paintings at the age of 23. She was the featured artist for Cirque du Soleil's London performance of Alegria. She has adorned the same walls as Georgia O'keefe and Salvador Dali.
As I look around the gallery, I am struck by the strength and beauty of her portraits. They have a very punk look to them as the hair of many of these figures are multicolored: red, purple, orange, yellow - like they have just had a hairstyle at Coupe Bizarre on St-Laurent blvd.
"I get the works directly from the studio. It allows the public in Montreal to become abreast of her most recent works. Her career started in Montreal, but she lives in Soho in NYC for 16 years now. It inspires her. She has been living from her art for 30 years, " she said.
"She is known as an intense colorist who combines the figurative with more abstract ( described as new expressionist on the website). She works big; focuses on faces and torsos, large scale close ups. She is doing more and more murals... dyptichs, tryptichs."
I commented they were very expressive.
"She is represented around the world. She went to NYC with a dream."
And she succeeded.
2122 Crescent
Montreal, Qc.
http://www.akagallery.com/
"Corno has been a painter for 30 years. I was working with her in New York before opening this gallery," she said.
"I've been here 2 years. We were so focused on the international market that now at last she can turn her interest back to Montreal. She was away for 25 years," said Corriveau.
Corno was born in Chicoutimi and completed a BFA at the Université du Québec a Montréal. She began living off her paintings at the age of 23. She was the featured artist for Cirque du Soleil's London performance of Alegria. She has adorned the same walls as Georgia O'keefe and Salvador Dali.
As I look around the gallery, I am struck by the strength and beauty of her portraits. They have a very punk look to them as the hair of many of these figures are multicolored: red, purple, orange, yellow - like they have just had a hairstyle at Coupe Bizarre on St-Laurent blvd.
"I get the works directly from the studio. It allows the public in Montreal to become abreast of her most recent works. Her career started in Montreal, but she lives in Soho in NYC for 16 years now. It inspires her. She has been living from her art for 30 years, " she said.
"She is known as an intense colorist who combines the figurative with more abstract ( described as new expressionist on the website). She works big; focuses on faces and torsos, large scale close ups. She is doing more and more murals... dyptichs, tryptichs."
I commented they were very expressive.
"She is represented around the world. She went to NYC with a dream."
And she succeeded.
2122 Crescent
Montreal, Qc.
http://www.akagallery.com/
Going Against the Grain
I recently asked an owner of a local bakery if she uses fair trade and organic products to make her cakes and cupcakes. It is part of a survey that I have began to undertake. The reason being is that often, farmers are not always paid a fair and living wage for their sugar, cocoa etc. as I was told by a member of 10 ooo villages along with a fact sheet explaining me this. For more information about this, Oxfam and Transfair, the organization that certifies products are resources to consult. Make Trade Fair is an Oxfam campaign.
She replied that she wasn't all that familiar with fair trade and that she wasn't able to compromise because she had to use nut-free ingredients as it was nut-free environment. There's a sign on the door: nut-free environment. She was however open to the idea and expressed a support of paying farmers a living wage. She than began discussing her flour which she said she purchased from the health food store.
I decided to go to my local health food store to do a little research on flour and discovered there are many sorts of flour. Flour I had never heard of. There's quinoa and potato flour. Who knew you could make flour out of potatoes? I've always been a wheat flour kind of girl. There's coconut flour. There's gluten free flour and white bean. There's stone ground and buckwheat and organic and vegan. I've had buckwheat. I must say I'm not sure I want a flour with the word glu in it, but then again I'm not a very sensitive person.
There is a brand called gogo quinoa and they are a cooperative in Bolivia and on the back of their package they write their flour is certified fair trade. There are quinoa oats. There is Red Mill and Capucine and Tournesol and Cuisine Soleil. I have eaten organic pancake mix.
You could say I've been sowing my new oats.
It is a whole new world of grain out there.
She replied that she wasn't all that familiar with fair trade and that she wasn't able to compromise because she had to use nut-free ingredients as it was nut-free environment. There's a sign on the door: nut-free environment. She was however open to the idea and expressed a support of paying farmers a living wage. She than began discussing her flour which she said she purchased from the health food store.
I decided to go to my local health food store to do a little research on flour and discovered there are many sorts of flour. Flour I had never heard of. There's quinoa and potato flour. Who knew you could make flour out of potatoes? I've always been a wheat flour kind of girl. There's coconut flour. There's gluten free flour and white bean. There's stone ground and buckwheat and organic and vegan. I've had buckwheat. I must say I'm not sure I want a flour with the word glu in it, but then again I'm not a very sensitive person.
There is a brand called gogo quinoa and they are a cooperative in Bolivia and on the back of their package they write their flour is certified fair trade. There are quinoa oats. There is Red Mill and Capucine and Tournesol and Cuisine Soleil. I have eaten organic pancake mix.
You could say I've been sowing my new oats.
It is a whole new world of grain out there.
Dusty+Crutchess=The Novel
To all those reading Dusty And the Crutchess: Shop and Awe, these are only small bits from a larger novel i am working on. Little parts of chapters. So those of you inspired by it, i am flattered really.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for reading.
Dusty+Crutchess-Fryer Power
There was enough fryer power in those cakes we ate to fry an entire chicken. Indeed we were roast chicks. We were like reindeers ready to light the way. Was there a message in all of this?
We felt stuffed and sunburned and I had to start asking myself some questions. Between having my shoes sandalized, my indigestion, my nose torched and frequent hate mail, I was starting to wonder was somebody out to get me?
What were the reasons motivating this attack? I had to do a little bit of sole, or was that soul searching? Would I have to start investigating or were my attackers going to communicate with me? Would I have to become Jane Bond - 007-up?
And what was in that cake? Between my just desserts and my sugar fix, I was starting to think this was some kind of Operation Dessert Storm.
We felt stuffed and sunburned and I had to start asking myself some questions. Between having my shoes sandalized, my indigestion, my nose torched and frequent hate mail, I was starting to wonder was somebody out to get me?
What were the reasons motivating this attack? I had to do a little bit of sole, or was that soul searching? Would I have to start investigating or were my attackers going to communicate with me? Would I have to become Jane Bond - 007-up?
And what was in that cake? Between my just desserts and my sugar fix, I was starting to think this was some kind of Operation Dessert Storm.
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