Election midterm

Midterm exam grade:
F for foreigner

Fire drill

On the 10th fire drill:

Shouldn`t we be parachuting out of this place by now?

Love Bites

I told that girl, Shouldn`t we be eating Pumpkin pie by now ?

No girls allowed.

Good, Because we`re women.

I want to go out for ladies` night.

Nunsense.

Girl, i like how you think.

----

Who`s miss-ing us?
Nobody I`m gonna miss.

She`s a tart

She`s tart.

Do you want me to cherry pie you?

No. If i wanted you to cherry pie me b***h, i would ask you.


---

How` s life?
Life`s a peach.
--

She ate at peaches?

yup.

she`s going down.

Poisson Rouge - Who`s fishin?

The only seafood we`re getting is crabs and that`s on our crotch

My playlist includes white lines

I see you are slammin my one liners.

The hummingbird `s doing Diamond

A little fucked up, she sang, Love on the Rocks.

They want their 2 dollars

If they keep sending me up, I`m going to have to send them down the east river in a body bag designed by Jude.

I hear dead people

Q: Which voice told you to torch the place?

A: The Village Voice.

Q: To clarify, they told you to torch it on Facebook, correct ?

T-roll with me

Let`s troll
we`re not trolls
no, we`re not; we`re t-rolling: looking for some women with some rolls
bread rolls, or belly rolls
both - we`re a hungry bunch

They`re not trolls.

(Jud, if you`re out there , get in touch )

to be continued

Project Related - Darker Angels

After watching the movie Dark Angels,(which was really funny), i had an idea.

Project DNA (from the movie) becomes Project Related in which women (and men) living in shelters take DNA tests and are all found to be related to a famous celebrity which then entitles them to large amounts of cash assistance.

For example, "you are related to Clint Eastwood" ; loud screams of joy are heard...

There is also Project Gang related: "You are related to 50 cents" . More shouts of joy ....

Hooking up

Love and Power Tools:

After complaining about the lack of hooks in public washrooms to hang up coats, woman installs her own hook.



-----

The hoodygan

On my way walking to the thrift store, a fuuny thing happened. i was stopped. d and r caught up with me on my way to pick up a few things at the local church basement thrift shop.

I really wanted to get a hoody and a couple t shirts. R said if i needed a referral she had 2 but i told her i was okay; i had one ; it was somewhere in my bag.

When we got there we went our separate ways checking out the clothes but then d came up to me and showed me a sweater: " this would look good on you" . " Are you showing me a grandmother sweater?" I guess you could think of it as a cougar sweater . " No, it 's nice."

I spotted a green hoody and got very happy. I tried it on. It fit. Then i saw another hoody, a white one and that one fit even better. I started to put the sweaters on one atop the other under the sweater i was wearing. D came over and looked at me and laughed. "I don`t feel like carrying a bag." " It`s not Macy`s", I said.

When i was done, i walked over to d and r still browsing and said i was done and ready to leave/ " You can't go like that, you've got like 6 layers on; it's the church."

I protested. " I have a referral."

I guess you could say, i looted the place.

Girls in the hoody

"Do you want to come gmacking in the bronx with us," n asked.

What`s gmacking?, i asked with a smile on my face.

"Shopping," she answered.

I was a little curious as to whether there was another meaning to it, but no one else seemed to have an answer.

I was inspired by the new expression i just learned and started making up my own:

- I was gonna go geewhizing in the brx with my ngrs over the weekend. Geewhizing meant for me going shopping at the whiz and saying things like 'gee, i really want that ipod'.

When i started to think of Alisha, gmacking had a slightly different connotation.

...

I was chillin in the hood and it felt good...

But i still was lookin for a lot of lovin and was still gettin a little shovin..

From s-ass-y to getting the boot-y

"She`s going in,"
"Where are you from?" another friend asked. I really loved their expressions. `She`s going in` meant she was going to ask questions.

Cabin jungle fever

I needed to take a walk. I was experiencing what might be described as cabin jungle fever. I was in the right neighborhood for it: Bed-Stuy. Now, i just needed to find a bed.

Maybe i was striking out because i said things like: " i have bed head".

Alisha support group

I found myself needing a support group for my love sickness.

Vagabond must report to job monday 9 am

AP - New York

According to a memo obtained by the Associated Press
from the department of "get them into low paying jobs", Sylvia
Miles, aka, the Vagabond of New York, must report to her job as
a cashier at Fast Food r us first thing monday morning or else be
faced with the possibility of prosecution or worse, of being forced to take care of rich people`s kids.

In a testimony, heard earlier this week, Miles, said:
"I`m a vagabond, that`s what i do; and i do it well; why
can`t they just let me be a vagabond."

Protesters outside the hearing were heard chanting:
"Let her clean poor people`s houses if she doesn`t want to clean rich people`s"
"I`ve got a floor that needs scrubbing"
"Let the vagabond roam the streets; she`s entertaining"

No word yet on the final decision.

"This nig**r" - Normally, I`m offended: Lovestruck chick

She was like a fresh pond of water lillies. Her friend loved to say things like "get the fuck outa here" and "are you fucking my bitch?" . I was instantly taken. I thought it was funny. She walked into my room, grabbed her stuff and on her way out looked at me and said : "It"s my stuff". "Who"s that?" I thought.

Someone who liked to use the expression "this nig**r" (insert g and e where stars are). Suddenly a naughty expression became like a love song.

more later...

It`s 2010: hoping to avoid the pen

It`s 2010, and what rhymes with twenty ten, well the pen of course.
It`s been a long month since i have written , but much has happened, not all of it good. I hope to update in a lengthy post soon the news that is unsettling my world.

First, I have been stongly encouraged to leave the city and move to somewhere like Toronto. (or SF) I may soon become newly homeless again and still looking for work.

I may solve my money problem with busking. You may see me around the city soon entertaining you.

I have flyered Williamsburg with MY Crisis and sent out some emergency emails, but then was granted another 2 weeks stay at my residence.

I now have 10 days left. And we will rediscuss.

Needless to say, New York is my home.

I was asked to dance by an artist selling his art on the streets of Soho (H), i said no but then emailed him and have not gotten a reply from H.

....